Asking for help, A Kallmekris fanfic

Chapter 3

I wake up the next morning, still feeling weighed down by the extra tofu that Gail made me eat last night. I really wish I had been able to control myself. But today is a new day, and I don't have too much time to ruminate, because it's monday, the first day of the new school week. Time to get back into teaching. it's 6am when I wake up, and by the time I've actually gotten up, it's almsot 7. I have to leave for work around 7:45, so I've barely given myself enough time for my rituals. But I of course, do them anyway. I couldn't not do them. I shower for exactly ten minutes (timed by my shower time), and rub exactly 1 pump of shampoo into my hair, but no conditioner. It's not a conditioner day. I exit the shower and shave everything on the left wide of my body from bottom to top, before moving to the right side of my body and doing the same thing. It takes more time than I would hope, but I'm packing up my things by 7:30. I almost forget to dirty a bowl so Gail thinks I ate, but I remeber just as I'm pulling on my shoes, so I have to re-untie the one that I've just started doing my ritual on. As soon as I put the bowl in the sink, I re-start the shoe ritual. Left sock on and then left shoe on and fully laced before repeating the same thing with the right side. I grab my school stuff and step outside the door frame, first with my left foot and then my right foot. Good. I'm good for the day. No more rituals until tomorrow. For some reason, all of my ritual urges disappear after I've done them in the morning, so I don't usually practise any rituals later in the day. I get in the car and start the drive to school my body running on the one cup of black coffee that I had for breakfast. I had wanted almond milk in it, just for a little extra energy and taste, but I hadn't been able to bear to drink any unnecessary calories, especially after last night's tofu incident. I get to school about about 10 minutes, and have 20 minutes before school starts at 8:15, so I carry all of my supplies into the classroom, saying hello to the students who are early in the halls and my colleagues. My stomach rumbles and I glare down at it as if it can hear me. "really?" I mutter out loud. "this early in the day. It's not even 9am and you're already hungry?" I set up everything that I need for the day on my desk and sit down for a second, my heart beating kind of fast and my head spinning slightly. But I manage to convince myself it's nothing. It's nothing, right? Yeah, just me not eating enough breakfast, my body will adjust soon. With 5 minutes left before 1st period, I go to open the door and let anyone waiting outside, in. A few students trickle in and I greet all of them. first period startts and I spend the entire time half teaching 9th grade candian history and half thinking about how I'm going to get in enough steps with all of this snow. The bell rings and I'm surprised. I hadn't realised that the period would be over this soon, so I never wrapped up the lessbon. Oh well, I can just pass it off as something that we need to continue next period, I tell myself. At the break in-between classes, I try not to give into my grumbling stomach and light head, both of which have gotten progressively worse over the past hour. My 2nd period students enter the room around 10:30 and I get ready to have another period of nothingness. I'm teaching about first nations people when suddenly a wash of dizziness washes over me, stronger than it has been. I think back to the night before and decide that I don't want to faint again, especially not here. I quickly tell the students to discuss a question with their desk partner while I run to the bathroom that's attached to my classorom. Once I'm shut in there, I sit fully clothed on the toilet, burying my face in my hands. I have a dilema. I brought an 100cal energy bar because I knew this might happen. I wanted to avoid having to eat it, but I honestly don't see how else I'll get through this lesson, never mind the entire day, without fainting. So I pull the bar out of my puffy winter coat, dreading having to eat it. I slowly unwrap it and try to savour it. Which doesn't work because as soon as my mouth's on it, I scarf it down. Geez, I knew I was hungry, but surely not THAT hungry. As soon as I finish the bar, I regret everything, I start to have a mini anxiety attack. I place my hand on my chest and try to breathe. It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. I can only hope.

hey yall, sorry i havent updated in a while. school's been absolutely crazy these past 5 months.