Getting Out While You Can

Knowing More Than Letting On

I felt hot and claustrophobic wrapped tightly in the heavy duvet, making me panic slightly until I noticed something. I was in the bed at Christian's house and the hot sensation I felt was a hand on my shoulder, still and heavy. I opened my eyes and searched, finding a small light on next to me and a hulking figure in the chair.

"Hi?"

The figure looked up from whatever they were looking at, which was an open book.

"You okay?"

"Are you okay? You're in my room," I said sitting up, rubbing my eyes.

"You were crying in your sleep. Hearing you talk and not doing anything is one thing, hearing you cry and not comforting you is another," Dimitri explained quietly, dimming the light on the lap.

"How long have you been in here?" I asked through a yawn.

"About half an hour. You stopped crying finally about twenty minutes ago but were still restless" he said, "Another nightmare?"

I rubbed my hand over my face. "No, not exactly."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I bit my lip and sighed, sinking back on in the pillows. I don't think this particular dream he would want to know about. "I don't want to upset you."

Dimitri looked confused about what I said before understanding crossed. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, standing up, heading towards the door. I nodded and tucked my nose into the comforter before sitting up.

"Wait."

Dimitri stopped and looked at me, his face open.

"Can you... can you just stay for a bit, until I fall back to sleep?" I asked meekly, the pathetic part of me that felt wounded by the memory I dreamed about cried out for comfort. Comfort from the one that caused that pain initially, funny enough.

Dimitri's face became unguarded and soft as he came around and sat on the edge of the bed but I moved back so there was more room for him. Might as well be comfortable too. Dimitri looked at me hesitantly before laying down, rolling onto his side to face me.

I gave him a meek smile and tucked my hand under my cheek, eyes moving over his face slowly. We didn't say anything, just laid on our sides looking at each other in the dark. He had turned the light off when he laid down, so the only light in the room was a sliver that cracked through the curtain.

Being up close to him I noticed the small changes. I hadn't noticed the lines in the corners of his eyes, the new scar on his forehead, how he had subtle laugh lines near his mouth. His eyes were still the same though, and I was happy to know that hadn't changed. I let my eyes wander again and I reached his hand between us and reached out, running my finger over a scar on the side of his hand.

"What happened here?"

"Strigoi."

I furrowed my brows. "How?"

"I didn't make the best coping choices after you left Court. While I was deemed Dhampir, I still had a lot of hoops to jump through. There was a lot of Strigoi activity near Court, and I started going on the hunts. I got this one the last one I went on."

"How often did you go on these hunts?"

"One a week."

I frowned and shook my head. That wasn't healthy copping at ll. I could see him going to try and prove that he wanted to help and that he wanted to prove that he could be a Guardian again.

"Did you do it because you thought that you could make the world better by taking them out, or did you do it because you thought it'd be the easiest way to get rid of your guilt?"