Fourth book of Moon Godess' Series. Elpída's story.
Cassian, Alpha of the Caelum, the strongest pack of the east is losing hope. He had been searching for his mate who seems to not exist. All he has are dreams of short glimpses of a girl calling for...
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When Cassian and I got back to the car, he drove off without saying a word. I could feel that he was still feeling angry so I didn't say anything although I felt sorry that he had to be involved in this.
He felt sorry for me, he wanted to avenge me and although I want to return the pain they've caused me, getting Cassian involved in it is not one of my plans. I wanted my revenge to be my own.
And plus, I don't want him to know this part of me, the broken part. Although most of me was already broken.
I was still carrying the box of money which I cast aside for now.
We made a few turns and when we were able to get far enough from the house and a reasonable distance from the town, Cassian found a place to park. He parked at the side of the road that was closer to the forest and looked at me.
"Can you stay here for a bit? I just need to take a breather," he said. I looked outside momentarily to see that the sun was already setting and it could get dark very very soon.
My heart hurt with how pained and conflicted he looked. I didn't want him to feel this, this wasn't what I intended when I asked him to come here with me.
From deep within me, I felt like I had to apologize. The guilt-tripping began again and I felt myself getting smaller. I've managed to make him mad although he was generally very patient with me.
Just as I was about to open my mouth, Cassian turned to me. "Please don't say you're sorry," he said as if he could read my mind, "you shouldn't be sorry."
Instead, I gulped down my words of apology. I understand that it was probably his first time being in a situation like this, but I wanted to make him understand that for some of us, that's just how life is.
"Do you want me to go with you?" I asked instead, hoping to change the topic, to lessen the tension.
Cassian's head hang low as he thought, but then he looked back up to me and shook his head and I suppressed my disappointment. I felt like something inside of me cracked.
"I'll wait for you," was all I said, but my voice came out as weak and squeaky.
I watched as Cassian was slowly walking away and watching him do so made my chest hurt so much. My heart was beating loud and it felt like needles were pinning my hear one by one.
I could only see his back, as we walked towards the forest, but I felt a chilling fear down my spine and it felt as if he was leaving me. I haven't even noticed that my tears had already began falling, I was so afraid to see Cassian walk away.
He was one of the good things to have happened to me in a while-- no, he was the best thing that happened to me through all these years. But to see his back turned, with the thought that might leave me forever scared me.
