Lost Wolf

guilt consumes

C a s s i a n

"What are we gonna do?" Ruth asked as she started biting her nails, a bad habit she's had whenever she felt worried. Seeing that, Claude held her hand to calm her down.

I took a long deep breath in order to calm my own thoughts. If only I could kill the Council as I please. It's not as if I cared about them anyways. After all, I'm certain that they're the ones behind Maddie's disappearance. And not to mention, they seem to have involvements with the Strays. The whole system of the Council is old and archaic. It's broken and corrupt to the core.

Bunch of filthy dogs, who do they think they are to meddle with my pack?

I turned to Stella who was looking perplexedly at me and there was that bitter and frustrating pain that hit my heart once again.

All I want is for you to live your life freely without pain, without all of this.

And I am unable to give even something as simple as that.

I took another deep breath and looked at everyone in the room.

"We will welcome them," I announced. "There is nothing to be afraid of."

"Are you absolutely sure about this Cass?" Ervin asked with no trace of joking as he usually did. In response, I could only nod slowly.

I trust my leaders and my pack warriors, but the Council members are all outstanding in their own ways and even if I felt uncertain, I had to be confident in my decision.

"But Cass--" Ruth tried to say but again, her mate was there to stop her and must have linked her to just let it be. I appreciated that because if she asked more questions, I would have no answers to give her.

No one said a word anymore, the atmosphere was full of doubt and I could almost hear the questions they asked themselves.

"You all can leave now and just prepare yourselves. Hopefully nothing too big happens..." I say as my eyes leave Stella to look outside the window.

At first no one seemed to move, but soon enough they said their goodbyes and left the room.

Without turning around, I knew that there was only one person who hasn't left and I didn't want to face her. I couldn't.

I couldn't look at her knowing that I failed her. I left her on her own and practically placed her in danger with my own two hands. How could I face her after that?

My chest hurt and I felt terrible, but I do not want her to see that, I hope she does not see that.

"You should go rest, your body is still healing," I said lowly, still not turning to her.

I hear her to get to her feet and approached me. She stood in front of the window, first looking outside and then turning to me.

Her clear brown eyes looked at me directly in a way that surprised me. She never looked at me so directly like this, she always looked away first or could never really meet my eyes. I wonder if getting her wolf was making her bolder.

"No, I don't feel any pain at all, it's weird but I'm not complaining," she says and smiles as if to lighten up the mood.

I tried to smile, but I could only look away from her gaze. My mind was creating multiple scenarios on what would now happen and what I would to protect my pack and Stella.

Would I have to put the pack over Stella?

Thinking about it was making my palms sweat and was weakening me. How could I possibly make a decision like that?