Wrong Number

Perfect on Paper but Otherwise

'So a lunch and a little kiss,' Darrell proposed this for the supposedly first date.

I had this loft style cafe in mind in which the upper sitting is a little cosy, secluded from the baristas downstairs. Though not necessarily stealthy given the crowd that consists of the customers, nonetheless they can be ignored.

It had been quite some time since I had been on a first date. Firstly, I have been living overseas. Secondly, I have been married to my career. Thirdly, I have been working in my artistic crafts and my literary portfolio. Fourthly, that pendulum feel of either moving on forward as a writer or reverting back back to corporate law... either for the love of working or for the love of money.

This date is between a big deal and not a big deal. It is Darrell, for crying out loud. A corporate lawyer, turned expat. A handsome - at least this was based on my memory of him back in 2012, when he was thirty something. A rugby club member albeit amateur, but still the rugby factor was utmost important.

This can't go wrong. I already broke up with Olivier, as I told him I was not interested on moving to France for him. Because I found myself in a happy trance situation, finally getting the man I've always liked - Darrell. But I have to play it cool.

Darrell and I, on paper, are a perfect match. English law education at a same tier university. Involved in the arts - he is an art collector, and I am a budding art curator - should I afford another degree for re-training. Played sports in a more poised manner, not some clumsy hobbyists. Have both lived in the same city at some point of our lives where our paths have crossed - Manchester. And again, even outside the home country our paths once again have crossed - Manila. We both have English as a mother tongue, the probability of getting lost in translation is low. We both have the same North English humour of self-deprecation, given my four years stint in Manchester.

He could be the one... but must play it cool, I thought.

Most of all, Darrell is interested on asking me out.

However, a Qatari friend, though a man was in town. I wasn't really aware of Arab culture, though admittingly not innocent about Israeli culture. In Israel, at least for the non-religious, it is okay to be platonic friends with the opposite sex. It turned out it isn't the case with Qatar.

I accepted Mubarak's dinner invitation, and on the way to the restaurant Darrell and I were exchanging text messages. His favourite music is similar to mine at that time in my life, Café del Mar and some Buddha Bar compilations.

He asked what I was doing for the evening, and told him I was to meeting a Qatari friend. Having lived in Qatar for a few years, he asked me if he happened to be a woman. The older I get, the more honest I become because I just couldn't care less. Darrell distanced himself that evening, after sending him a selfie.

The night after the dinner, the whole Middle Eastern feel was giving a good vibe and a good perspective through cuisine. Mubarak introduced me to an Israeli restaurant, much to my surprise, as he is Qatari. In South East Asia, it is refreshing to see Middle Easterns both Israelis and Arabs; Jewish and Muslims eating peacefully at a Kosher restaurant or reform style kosher restaurant that is not truly and fully kosher though the chickpeas of the falafel are imported from Israel. This began my new found deep respect for Middle East.

The breakfast was amazing, a meze of Middle Eastern food, albeit this time a Jewish and Israeli fare. Mubarak told me he is leaving for Qatar again, and I found friendship in him.

I sent a message or two to Darrel days after, to invite him to the Israeli restaurant which became my favourite, my oasis in Philippines. It is rather intimate, I find, to share this moment with someone I might like a lot. Though a gentile myself, I grew up beside the Jewish community at home, and Shabbat dinners are not foreign to me especially when your childhood best friend is a bat Cohen.

He hasn't at all replied, so I thought to just move on from Darrell.