Irreplaceable

One

Harry styles

365 days.

365 days without her touch.

365 days without her love.

365 days without hearing her voice.

Three hundred

And sixty

Five

Days without seeing

Her

I have turned to writing in my notes on my phone. I'm not that type of person to carry round a 'diary', it Atleast makes me look like I'm busy. I don't want to be approached by others.

To mya,

Day 365 without you my love. It's been incredibly hard and fucking annoying. How's our baby? I know you will be looking after them well. I've been cutting down on my smoking and drinking. Actually I've stayed in touch with Niall too. He's been a massive help, I've finally opened up to someone other than you.

Surprised right? Because I am.

All I want to do is smother you with kisses and hug you so tight your gasping for air while chuckling when I finally let you go. I want to hold our baby In my arms and just look at them, knowing that they have all of your gorgeous features. Which is all of them. Do they have brown hair? Or do they have your genes and have a dirty blonde like your mum? Or is she neither and a red head? I love the idea of our baby running around with their little hair bouncing behind them.

Is it a girl? I hope it is. I'd love a mini version of you.

Mya Amalia

"So I want to know. How is he?" I ask. Niall just stares at me for a moment before taking a sip from his drink.

"He's. Harry. Definitely Harry." He nods as he agrees with himself. That is definitely not the answer I was wanting. Niall sighs before patting his legs and looking around. I know what he wants to ask me. And my answer will make him happy for sure.

"She's okay Niall. She hasn't even met anyone new." I tell him.

He scratches the back of his neck "I. I wasn't going to ask." He points an accusing finger in my face "you brought her up not me."

"But you was thinking about her." I shrug. We both know the deal, we are best friends. And are dating each other's best friends. It's best that we meet before I see his best friend again and he sees my best friend again.

"I know. Tired of thinking about her I am honestly. But I just can't stop." He seems so. Tense. He wants to ask me something.

"What? What do you want to ask me?" I sigh, just knowing exactly what he's going to ask.

He pauses. I hold my breath. My hand slowly moving back to my stomach "was it?"

I nod slowly. Not wanting to say those words out loud. He looks sad. Anxious and then sad.

"I'm so sorry mya. I know how much you wanted this. And Harry. He thinks it was a little girl."

"It was." I say quietly. My eyes looking around the room.

He frowns slightly "so I would have been an uncle?"

I chuckle "Niall you would have been an uncle either way."

"Oh yeah." He nods before finishing off his drink. "Do you know. Like know how she. You know."

"Died?" I finish his sentence. God my therapy is really showing it has worked right now.