"𝐼𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑒, 𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒．"
－ Season 15 Spencer Reid
T.W: This story's plot is mainly based on sexual assault. If that is a trigger of yours, I recommend you not read.
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Spencer stirs in his sleep, feeling a weight pushing him further into the bed making it more difficult for him to move. He lets out a groan and flutters his eyes open noticing a familiar hair color in his face. He pushes Y/n's hair to the side and shortly realizes her small body is directly on top of his, sleeping soundly.
He smiles at her peaceful face that he didn't get to see often, she always seemed so stressed but its almost like all of that goes away when she sees him. He felt important bringing some sort of calmness to her.
He stares down at her admiringly before realizing it was getting creepy and sliding out from under her. He quietly slips out of the room and into the kitchen to make coffee for the two of them.
He grabs two plain white coffee cups and sets them on the counter before turning on the coffee pot and allowing hot black liquid to spew out into the glass. As he sits there, zoning out for what feels like forever as the coffee spills out endlessly Y/n stumbles into the kitchen. Almost startling Spencer.
She seemed in distress, there was a thin coat of sweat covering her forehead and her breathing had become rapid. "Are you okay?" He puts his hands on her shoulders to stop her swaying. "Y/n? Whats wrong?" A sense of concern filled him, he doesn't think hes ever seen her so upset.
"I-I-" Her chest was rising and falling so quickly he thought she was going to pass out any minute, he lead her over to his couch, guiding her to sit.
"Hey, take you're time. Its okay, you're okay." He encourages.
Spencer demonstrate breathing in deeply in and out multiple times, she eventually got the hang of it and her breathing became less intense.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?"
Y/n stares up at him, tears spilling out of her eyes faster than she could think. Their eyes meeting immediately gave her a sense that she was safe, a hope that maybe this wouldn't turn out how she was thinking it was.
"I- I woke up. A-and," she bounces her leg up and down, Spencer's first instinct was to put his hand on her lower thigh to offer her support. She takes another deep breath in his comfort, "I checked my phone, I had a notification from this- I don't know, news app. The top story was an update on Matthews trial." Their eyes meet again, Spencer already having a sense of what she would say next. "He-He was released from jail Spencer." She lets out a sob, laying her forehead on Spencer's chest. He put his arms around her, rubbing small circles into her back. He couldn't do much but what he could do was make sure no matter what, he would keep her safe.
" I just- I don't understand." Y/n adds, lifting her head from Spencer's chest and wiping her tears. " He very clearly raped me and almost killed me, multiple times. How could anyone believe that man deserves to walk anywhere else but in a jail cell?" She sniffles, tears still running down her face.
Spencer gently cups her cheek, staring into her glistening eyes as their lips near barely an inch away from each other, "Lovely, listen to me." His voice is soft and comforting. "I will dedicate my life, to keeping you safe from him. For as long as I live he won't lay a single finger in you. I promise." The corners of his lips turn up slightly as his eyes scan her face, hoping she will believe him.
Y/n doesn't speak, she simply takes in his words. Still not knowing whether or not she should be trusting him, she trusted her Matthew, she trusted Mark, that got her no where except a hospital.
" Got it?" He whispers, tilting his head.
"I-" She suck's in a breath, "I don't know if I can trust you yet Spencer." She replies, sounding defeated. "I'm sorry..." She wants to trust him but that's easier said than done.
Spencer's smile grows, happy that shes communicating her feelings."Hey that's okay, it's going to take time and I understand it's not easy to trust someone, especially a guy after what you've been through. I'll be here for you and if you feel uneasy at anytime around me, tell me. That's completely normal during the healing processes." He removes his hand from her face and brings it down to caress her shoulder. He wants her to trust him but he also knows that it takes time, but he'll wait for her.
Y/n nods, thankful for his reaction. "Thank you Spence, it means a-" She was cut off by her phone buzzing on the coffee table. Spencer's eyes scan the screen to see Marks name covering it with messages, anger automatically filling him.
He watches her pick up her phone and open it to reveal their messages, Spencer couldn't make out what they said but he knew it wasn't good by the look on her face.
She began biting on her nails again, "I- I um...have to go." She croaks, quickly standing and walking towards the door.
Spencer stands as well, taking hold on her arm making her spin back around to face him. "You don't seriously think i'm going to just let you go home to him, right?"
Y/n knits her eyebrows together, "Yes actually, I do." She removes her arm from his grasp.
"Y/n you have two guys out to get you, please don't make dumb decisions right now." Spencer stares down at her in worry, hoping she would just stay with him. He knows he can't force her but he made a promise to keep her safe.
She scoffs, "You have no right to say what decisions I make are dumb or not, you have never been in my situation before Spencer." She looks up to the ceiling, shaking her head. "God, men are so fucking stupid." She mutters, "Once you're a woman and you have to start worrying about being raped and who's gonna kidnap you off the street, then you can tell me which decisions I make about my abusive relationships are dumb." She turns towards the door again but Spencer grips onto her wrist, making her visibly angry.
"You said it yourself! Its an abusive friendship Y/n, I can't let you go home to him knowing damn well he's angry you didn't come home last night!" His voice raises an octave, proving his both angry and afraid.
"Me and him are not friends, Spencer." She mutters, staring down at the ground. She knew Spencer was right, she shouldn't go home but she has no way out. If she takes it to court he will get maximum of five years then just get released and come after her, if she runs away he will find her and kill her. She has no other options.
Spencer sighs, uncrossing his arms and putting one hand on her shoulder. She shrugs it off, making his hand fall by his side again.
"Y/n, I just want you safe."
She sucks in an angry breath, "Yeah like I haven't fucking heard that before." She looks back up with him, her glossy eyes meeting his worried ones. "I am twenty-eight years old, I am aloud to make my own decisions and I am telling you I'm leaving. Please, don't stop me again."
With that, she turns around and walks out of Spencer's apartment, shutting the door behind herself. Knowing her and Spencer would both regret it.
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Authors note
I love leaving you all on cliffhangers, I'M SORRY!
So usually when someone has been in a situation like Y/n they wouldn't argue like this especially not with a man with the fear of them doing something harmful to them but, I kinda wanted this argument to prove how safe Y/n is starting to feel with Spencer. Even though she's not fully trusting him, shes getting there.
For those of you who aren't able to trust anyone just yet, just know that is completely normal and you will get there!! I believe in you all, have a wonderful day/night.
