Piling Up🍼

7.7K 105 16
                                    

Little: Yeosang

Caregivers: Ateez

Idea by: a_fandompr1ncess

No one's POV.:

Yeosang had been a little ever since he started to train in the kpop business. Being rather shy meant he'd constantly have to jump over his shadow, which involved quite a bit of stress. It surely didn't get easier after debuting. Being in the eye of the public meant always feeling watched and Yeosang craved the safe feeling of his headspace. Yeah, this had been his dream and he loved being an idol but that didn't mean he didn't need a break every once in a while. None of the members knew about their friend's headspace and the boy was determined to keep it that way. Not even Wooyoung knew about Yeosang's little-side, despite having been close friends for a while. At some point shortly after their debut, the older had contemplated telling Wooyoung about his headspace. They were best friends after all and never really kept any secrets from each other. Yeosang could feel his best friend drift away from him though, as Wooyoung was with San most of the time. It was only more proof for the older that he had only himself to rely on and therefore would keep his littlespace to himself too.

That got progressively more difficult the busier the group got. The members were around each other all day and when they returned to their dorm at night, Yeosang shared a room with Wooyoung and Jongho. He didn't really have a place to hide while he regressed, which he had usually done when they had a day off and he had the dorm or at least their room to himself for a few hours. That hadn't happened in a while anymore and it didn't seem he'd get a chance to slip soon either. Still Yeosang decided opening up about something as vulnerable as his headspace was worse than just suppressing it for the time being, hoping he'd eventually get an opportunity to slip, or slowly break from the habit and get rid of his headspace for good. What he hadn't taken into consideration was what the neglect of his headspace would do to him, especially over the course of weeks. Regressing usually helped Yeosang get a break from his racing mind and without that, he soon struggled with falling asleep. Every night it took him longer till he eventually drifted off and he'd only have a few hours of rest before having to get up again, leaving him tired and on edge.

Yeosang didn't know whether the lack of sleep or the negligence of his headspace was to blame but he knew that the dull pressure that had formed in his head didn't fade and instead grew to an ever-present ache, making it difficult to focus. Wooyoung could tell something was up with his friend but didn't want to confront the older about it. He'd surely come to him if he needed to get something off his chest, right? Wrong, Yeosang didn't want to talk about his struggle even though he truly needed to get it off his chest and to regress again. He didn't even dare to talk about it when Seonghwa approached him in privacy and asked if everything was alright because he wasn't acting like himself. Since he couldn't bear lying to his hyung, Yeosang admitted that he felt exhausted, which was only getting worse with him struggling to sleep. That was all he was willing to open up about though.

Though Seonghwa sensed that there was more to it than just plain exhaustion, the oldest didn't want to corner Yeosang if he wasn't ready to talk about it yet, so he settled for making the younger a cup of chamomile tea in the evening, hoping he'd have a better chance at falling asleep. It didn't necessarily help Yeosang sleep but he didn't feel entirely invisible anymore, knowing Seonghwa was watching out for him. The exhaustion remained just as bad but he didn't feel so painfully lonely anymore. As much as Yeosang tried to make himself believe that it was fine and it got easier the longer he resisted his headspace, the truth was that it didn't get any easier. If anything, he started to struggle far more, not having the energy it'd take to remain big and function like he was expected to. It only increased the pressure Yeosang put on himself, the exhaustion, stress and pressure slowly piling up without any chance of releasing it. It was only a matter of time till the boy would break under it but for now, he didn't even consider changing his plan.

Fluffy ATEEZ Oneshots🧸Where stories live. Discover now