Shape of My Heart

Chapter 7

This just fucking sucked....

I was torn in so many different directions right now. I felt so stupid for just running out on Rudy like that, but at the same time if I didn't....what would have happened?

I wanted him so bad, and I had him...but did I really? I mean yeah we did what we did, but was it really him or just the alcohol?

I couldn't stop these thoughts running through my head, a searing headache forming. I went back down stairs, not in the mood for partying anymore. I sat out by the pool, dipping my feet in. My chest started to heave, sobs leaving my mouth as I cried. I cursed loudly, slamming my fist on the concrete.

"Y/n? What's wrong?" Maddie B asked, Mo following her to my other side.

"I'm so stupid! I hate myself! Why couldn't I have just been born normal?! Why was I cursed with this body?!" I cried, wiping furiously at my face. I didn't even care how hard I worked on my makeup anymore, it was all going to come off anyways.

"Hey, don't talk like that. Tell us what happened." Mo murmured, rubbing my shoulder.

"I-I...Rudy and I, ya know things got heated between us today. When I went upstairs he uh-he followed me...we kissed, and it was going further. I stopped him, and he told me he liked me. I ran out the door after he said that.." I recalled, sniffling.

"Why did you run?" Maddie B asked.

"Because Maddie he was drunk, there's no way in hell anyone that looks like him would want someone like me! It's just-it's impossible!" I exclaimed.

"Sweetheart, I think maybe you should go to bed. Clear your mind, talk to him tomorrow." Maddie B said, brushing some hair from my face.

"You have got to stop being so down on yourself. Remember how you felt earlier? That's what we all think of you all the time. You. Are. Beautiful. On the outside and the inside, but the inside is what matters the most. And you know good and well that Rudy does not lie, so do you think he would lie to you?" Mo said, Maddie B nodding with what she said.

"I mean...no." I muttered.

"Give him a chance," Maddie B whispered.

"I-...." I croaked.

"You don't have to decide now, let's get you to bed." Mo smiled.

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I was startled away by the sound of music, a song I knew all too well. I threw my covers off, peaking out of the window. Sure enough, there stood Rudy. An old boom box in hand with 'In Your Eyes' by Peter Gabriel blasting through the speakers. I opened my window, peaking my head out.

"What the hell?" I called, scrunching my eyebrows at him.

"I figured referencing our favorite movie would get your attention." he shrugged, sitting the boom box down.

"It was more like blasting music in front of my window that got my attention." I rolled my eyes.

"Come down here." he demanded.

"Rudy." I sighed.

"I have something to tell you, please." he begged, of course he was too hard to say no to.

I brushed my teeth quickly, throwing on some clothes and deodorant before making my way down. I stood in front of him, anxiously bouncing on my toes. My nerves crawled up the back of my throat, making me feel nauseous.

"What is it?" I asked, sighing heavily.

"Last summer, I met the most gorgeous woman, and we have so much in common. That's hard to find for someone like me, but it just made me fall harder for her. Chase and JD were annoyed with me because I wouldn't shut up about her. I-...I started to feel something more when we all started hanging out before she had to leave when we were filming, but I didn't think I stood a chance with a beautiful woman like her." he admitted, my eyes widening.