𝐏𝐒𝐘𝐂𝐇𝐄, a book of rants

Dear Past Me

This is inspired by coldglassofcola 's rant book, So I'm doing the same because I can.

So here we go...

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Dear Tiny Hoe,

Now you are probably at season two right now and that means you have already agreed you hate season one Caroline. Well good news, you end up loving her.

And you also did hate Stefan so much you wanna throw the sun at him but now that has toned down a bit so now you only wanna throw the moon at him.

And and, remember how you said you're obsessed with Damon to mess with your cousin? Yeah well, if you wait a few more seasons you will meet the love of your life. You started off as agreeing he's a mediocre villain and then finding Wattpad stories of him and then falling in love with him. So now your Tiktok FYP and Pinterest are all filled with edits of Kai Parker.

You have also matured a lot as a person and form your own opinions and not look at that cousin hoe of yours and what she thinks. Your comfort character still remains Caroline but Kai is also your comfort character.

You found a lot of new friends on this app, some of which are very weird but hey, at least they aren't boring. And they also share a lot of your interests. Your friends include:

1. A 15-year-old axe murderer who's still in seventh grade.

2. A short-term amnesiac sister who you call dory.

3. A Law school student who doesn't know what to do with her life.

4. A tomato-hating sister who you ironically named Tomatoe on the GC.

5. A white hoe who you haven't interacted with enough to be your friend and prefers emo-Jeremy over Elijah and is married to Matt Donovan.

6. A Friend of the above axe murderer who's literally nicknamed hell.

7. An Indian girl who you are still excited about because you ain't ever seen an Indian.

You still stan Elena and fight for her right to cry, Except when arguing, you lose your shit and forget your facts which is why you prefer fighting online. You also still fight for the Damon-Caroline issue and have successfully changed the minds of two people.

And remember how you said you weren't sensitive at all? Yeah well, now you cry over jelly beans and Wattpad stories. And while we're on the topic, you also did end up crying over the last episode of TVD but that was because you realized it's the last episode of TVD.

You now also have another obsession and that is the show Brooklyn nine-nine. It's your comfort show and you are, at this moment on season eight episode three and you are crying because it's gonna end soon.

You still ship Delena, you also ship Caroline with that guy who possessed Alaric. You also ship Bonnie and Enzo and hate Julie Plectrum with hardcore passion. Your favorite characters are Kai, Katherine, Enzo, and Caroline.

You HATTTTEEE Sybil. Like, more than Stefan. She was so hateful and annoying and thus you don't even look at her.

You now have three Gmail accounts and you have increasingly gotten better at creating graphics and are currently thinking of making a cover shop.

You also restarted trying to make edits except there is always one problem after the other so now you are on a break because if you open capcut once more you will jump off a cliff.

Your favorite original is Rebekah Mikealson. She's sassy, badass. smart yet no one likes her. Except you. You have been told that you are a lot like Rebekah by your cousin but you don't believe her because you think you are nothing like her.

Except your cousin now says your personality matches that of Quetsiya's. Now you are unsure of who you are like.

So yeah, This is you. You cry to hide anger, You create fake scenarios, You search up psychology tricks, Your mind took up permanent residency in the gutter, and you still search up Klaroline audios but to this day have found nothing. And I'm sorry to say, Your life has gotten nowhere.

Until next time,

-Violetta

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