In which I educate ya dumbasses with the daily struggles of being a desi/brown girl and putting up with brown parents with temper problems...
Non-Indians will understand shit, Indians will relate...
1. The life of a T-shirt
-brand new, only wear it on special occasions
-wears at auntie's husband's brother's daughter's child's birthday party
-Wears when going to play with a random friend
-gets stuffed in the far corner of the cupboard
-finds it after five years only to see it is too small
-Tshirt gets torn in half to clean the floor
-Tshirt finally finds peace at the back of a garbage truck
2. Job opportunities
We are very caring parents. We will give you all the freedom you need. So you are allowed to be any kind of surgeon and we will love you dearly:))))
3. Indian Auntie Vocabulary
hai mone/mole, (Hey child)
Enthoke unde vishesham? (what's up)
thadi vechaloo (You have put on quite a lot of weight) *Smiles sweetly*
veyilil nikanda, karup avum (Don't stay under the sun, you will become black)
avan avalde kude oliche odee poyanu (apparently he eloped with her) (basically, gossip) #BBCnewsisuseless
#wehaveindianautiestotelluswtfisgoingon
4. Hindi is the only language that exists
Person: Wait you are Indian right?
Me: Yea-
Person: So that means you speak Hindi right?
Me: not really, I speak Malayam. And some Tamil.
Person: But you said you were Indian...
Me: Yeah, I am-
Person: Oh I see, so you speak Indian right?
Person #2: Of course not, she speaks Hindu.
Me: ...........................What-
5. Cricket (INDIA VS PAKISTAN)
Indian cricketer: *didn't catch the ball*
Everyone in the thattu kada (tea shop but with zero hygiene): YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH WHY DIDN'T YOU CATCH THE FUCKING BALL? YOU HAVE BROUGHT SHAME UPON US AND THE ENTIRE INDIA. YOU ARE GONNA LET PAKISTAN WIN. YOU BASTARD. YOU *long bleep*
6. Exam results:
White child: mom I got 29 out of 60
White mom: It's okay baby, you tried hard. Next time, you can try harder and you will definitely win
VS:
Brown child: *literally drowning in fear* amma.....I got the results
Brown mom: *Holding her chappal (slippers)* how much marks?
Brown child: *stuttering like Wattpad Y/n* f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f--f--fifty n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nine
Brown mom: *death stare* Out of?
Brown child: s-s-s-s--s-s-s-s-s--s-s--sixty......
brown mom: where did the one mark go? #childurabouttoseeraginghell
Brown child: but amma I got the most marks in my class #godhavemercyonme #Imtooyoungtodie #illdobetternexttimeiswear
Brown mom: IDC ABOUT THE OTHER STUDENTS WHY DID YOU LOSE THAT ONE MARK??
YOU ARE READING
𝐏𝐒𝐘𝐂𝐇𝐄, a book of rants
Non-Fiction"Psyche, the mystic, only half divine..." _____________________________________ Previously: The Vampire Diaries Rant Book Humanity~A TVD Rant Book Violets for Roses~A Rant Book ______________________________________ It's a rant book Yes, that one...
