𝐏𝐒𝐘𝐂𝐇𝐄, a book of rants

🔪Kai Parker🔪

"You win some, you lose some. Except for me, I always win"

So I couldn't find the baseball emoji because my phone doesn't have a lot of emojis...

So just imagine it's a baseball emoji...

Anyway...

Hello and welcome to the late night show with Jo's spleen, "Because you can live without a spleen"...

Okay scratch that, it's me alright. And today we will be talking about Kai Parker...

So Kai parker is a sociopath who killed his siblings, went to a prison world, came out of the prison world, became coven leader and killed his sister, and father and attempted to kill his unborn nieces...

And he gets a lot of hate and love from both sides of the fandom and I can't say he doesn't deserve it because he is an adorable sociopath and my eternal love...

I however, have a core membership in the I-love-kai parker club because he is husband #1.

Because one: he's the Hottest man to ever exist on the universe. It ain't my fault Julie chose the finest man on earth to play a sociopath...

Two: he is soooo adorable. Especially when he's smiling. He has this cute little grin on his face and it's like he's a kid and it just makes me soo happy when he's happy and-

Okay stop, we get it. You're obsessed. Now stop before people lose their minds.

Fine😒

And three, he was redeemable before Bonnie decided to serve bittersweet revenge.

Now don't get me wrong, I love Bon-bon. And I love how she stabbed him for herself. But like, miss girl, ya had to take care of yourself when my baby was in a fucking prison world?

Where was that Bonnie 6 seasons ago?

And four,-

I thought three reasons where enough...

Stop interrupting me, will ya?

Anyways, fourth of all, his past makes up for how he turned out to be. He's a siphon, and he has zero control over it. But nooo, that rat j*shua had to make sure his son was picture perfect like smart and "powerful" Josette cos what about his reputation as coven leader? We certainly don't want people talking about Joshua Parker's deformed abomination of a son now do we?

Five, he owned season six. And his appearance in season 8 is just-

When is this gonna end?

If you dont like it, get the hell out of here. It's now like I asked you to stay here...

Yeah No, that ain't happening. Continue

As I was saying, he owned season six. And he has the best humour. He and s
Silas should have met. They would have been besties. Bond over where they got trapped for decades and shit.

And also 5.5, the entrance to the ball was everything.

You do realise the number six exists, right?

Juuuust get out already...

Alright but Imma be back for the next chapter tho.

Bye. Anyways, so if you dont already stan him, then I pity you a whole bloody lot 🙃

Whatever happened to your new year resolution #2 to respect people's opinions?

*loud crashing sound effects* GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.