The Sky Is Falling On My Head!

14. Embarassing Recollections, Brought To You By Ryder!

The next day I rose bright and early, and in a lot of pain, for some reason.

And when I realised where, and on who I was sleeping, everything became a lot clearer.

I mean, sure, Keith was all muscle and everything, but that was part of the problem. He was rock hard, and he made the world's most horrible pillow.

He had also wrapped his arms really carelessly around my mid-section, which let him sleep in comfort, but stuck me at an award-winningly awkward angle, and it was painful.

Also, the sofa was the worst place to fall asleep.

I untangled myself from Keith, and got up.

I felt like cake today... Maybe that's what I'd do. I'd bake, and then study my heart out.

Yep, that seemed feasible.

~~~~~~

My brain got over the lag due to lack of network when I was midway through my chocolate milk.

And so, I nearly choked out my lungs.

Luckily, Keith heard me, and he came running to rub my back so I cough up whatever had gone the wrong way.

And about a whole minute if choking and coughing later, I was fine.

"Thanks, Keith."

Oh yeah, Keith. The reason I nearly just died.

Suddenly, the air seemed to get tender and thicker and neither of us knew what to do.

See? This is why you don't kiss your crush. It gets awkward.

I sighed mentally. Why was this so damn hard?!

"You know, I think I'll just go change. See you in a few." Keith decided out loud.

"No!" I was screaming mentally. "Don't come back!"

"Cool."

Just then, my phone began ringing.

Chanting 'any distraction is welcome,' I picked it up, hoping it would be someone sensible, and not crazy.

I was wrong. It was someone fully insensible and completely crazy.

"Hi, Ryder."

"Hello, James Bond." Unable to help myself, I smiled at the nickname which had been coined when Ryder had found me pointing a prop gun at my changing room mirror, spouting Bond monologues.

I still hadn't recovered from that embarassment.

"What brings you to call me on this fine-as-hell day?"

"It's not fine-as-hell, is it?"

"No!" I whisper shouted. "Yesterday, Keith and I the 'k-word' and today it's so awkward I can't even breath!"

I explained quickly, still whispering.

Ryder laughed loudly down the line.

"You and he the 'k-word'?! Gosh, Kylie. You are too cute."

"Shut up," I mumbled. Thanking all the stars Ryder couldn't see me blush like a strawberry.

"Hey, I know you're blushing!"

Damn it stars! I thought you had my back!

"Well, then your information is faulty!"

"Your head is faulty, love."

"Your head is faulty!" I shot back lamely.

"Hmmm. Says the girl panicking over a 'k-word'." Ryder chuckled again.

"Are you going to help me, or can I hang up?"

"You can hang up."

"Okay."

I hung up, and immediately, my phone rang again.

"Don't even start." Ryder muttered angrily.

"Okay. I'll just hang-"

"Don't you dare, James Bond. Or footage goes viral. Unless..."

"I'm listening. Even though you have absolutely no footage. I know, because I'd stolen your phone as part of the act."

I smirked even though Ryder couldn't see me.

"Who said I was talking about that footage? We also have that time where you tripped and fell in the paint, or the time you sneezed so hard your ice-cream landed in your hair, or the other time when you sneezed on stage, during the speech and the mic hit the principal... Okay, now that one was my personal favourite. So, take your pick, darling dearest."

"Uh, how about none?"

"Why not?"

"Don't make me answer that. Hey, wait! You could make me answer that. And then I get your supply of chocolate so..."

Ryder's fire died.

"We won't answer that question."

"Good. So, are you busy?"

I heard a groan down the line.

"What's the deal?"

"Deal?" I laughed. "What makes you think I want to make a deal?"

"You asked me if I was busy. You'd only do that if you needed something."

"Hmm, good observation. Can you come over and save me?"

Ryder seemed to contemplate for a moment.

"Nah, no can do. I have a hot date."

I choked again.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Jeez, I'm kidding. No need to sound so jealous, honey pie. You know whenever you want it, my heart is all yours!"

"I'm not jealous!"

"The exclamation mark at the end of that sentence proves otherwise."

"Yeah, and you'd know because of your real-life subtitles, no?"

"Of course. Okay, well mum wants something. So, I'll speak to you about your calamity later. Good bye, gorgeous! Love you!"

"Bye, Ryder."

"What, no 'Love you'?"

"Ugh, fine. I love you, darling!"

"Ah, see that's better! Even my toes are blushing."

"Good bye, Ryder!"

"Bye!"

Ryder hung up the phone, and I smiled.

He always knew how to make my day, no matter how crappy it was.

Speaking of days, wasn't I supposed to be living one right now?