A new beginning

Chapter 3

CARTERS POV;

"I-I was thinking...of...you." I said scared of his response.
"Really?" he asked. I sighed, he probably thinks I'm so stupid. I nodded and left, ashamed of saying it, knowing it will be awkward between us now.
I sat on my bed starring at the floor in my room. the door was locked and I was in here for a while now. I was hoping that James would come and see me sooner or later. nothing. it was okay, if I was him that would be a lot to take in, your best friend, who's gay, was thinking about you on a date, with his boyfriend. I wish I could rewind time so none of this happened.

JAMES POV;

I watched Carter leave the room, I wanted to follow him but I could tell he wanted to be alone. I can't believe he likes me, I knew this was going to happen, now everything is going to be awkward but, I will make sure it won't be. he's my friend and nothing will change that. Not even knowing the fact he likes me.
It's been a while now and Carter's still in his room, I want to check on him but I should give him time, even if that means all day. I went to the washroom and stared at myself, fixing my hair. I can't believe it's true... Carter likes ME!? why, me though? He could do so much better then me and I'm not even gay... maybe I'm bi? God, I need to stop thinking about this, it's getting to my head.
I left the washroom and walked past Carter's bedroom door. I stopped and looked at it, it was silent. I decided to see him, he's been in there a long time. I opened the door slowly, just a crack, so I could peek in. He was curled up on his bed, his arms wrapped around his legs and his head barred in his knees. I knocked on the wall, startling him,"Hey, you okay?" I asked walking towards him. He sat up on his bed, i sat beside him.
"I'm fine. what are you doing here?" I could tell he really wanted to know, and I think I might know the answer he wants.
"You've been in here for a long time and I wanted to check on you." he sighed,"I know it's really hard to tell me you like me and stuff and I know you don't want things to be awkward, heck, I don't want things to be awkward!"
"I know." he answered quietly.
"I just don't know why I can never find a girl that I like or likes me. You know I have a hard love life and I just don't know what to do."
"Why are you telling me this?" he asked more interested and less shy.
"I don't know." I got up off the bed, "I'm getting tired so i'll see you in the morning." I left and went to my room, I fell onto my bed looking at the ceiling, I need to sleep before I know for sure I'm going to tell Carter.

CARTER'S POV;

James left and I heard him close his door. What was that about? I took out my phone and checked my instagram after that I went to bed and soon fell asleep.
"Shut up and kiss me!" James announced in a sexy voice, breathing heavily pushing me onto his bed. We started to kiss and soon are tongues connected. The kissing didn't stop as I started to unbutton my boyfriends shirt.
"Carter are you okay?" James said shaking me awake from my dream.
"Yes, I'm fine. Why?"
"You were breathing fast." He said nervous,"Did you have a nightmare?"
"Ya, I believe so." I lied,"thanks for waking me up."
"No problem. I made breakfast if you want to get it from the fridge." He left and went to the living room. I got up and closed the door behind him. I took off my clothes and started to put on a pair of pants. there was a knock at the door,"The phones for you. Can I come in?" I zipped and buttoned up my pants.
"Who is it?" I yelled back.
"Your mom." I opened the door and took the phone, James walked back to the living room and turned on the T.V.
"Hello?" I answered the phone as I put it against my ear.
"Hey, sweetie. How are you and Noah doing? have you told James yet?"
"Hi, mum. I'm doing good and yes, I told James and he took it very well." I said skipping the question about Noah.
"That's good. So I was wondering you wanted to come over for dinner tonight with Noah." d*mn it, now I had to tell her.
"I'd love to come over for dinner but Noah won't be coming." I told her shyly.
"How come? is he busy?"
"No, we aren't together anymore."
"Oh. well alright then. will James be coming instead?" she sounded upset about the fact that me and Noah broke up but, when she mentioned James it slipped my mind.
"Of coarse!" she laughed,"If that's okay with you?"
"Yes, hunny, he can come with you. I love to see him, he's a nice man." There was a short pause before she continued,"i should probably get going. ill see you two at 5ish okay?"
"Okay, bye mom."
"Okay love you bye."
"Love you too." I hung up the phone and walked into the living room and saw James sitting on the couch.

JAMES POV;

"Hey." carter sat beside me,"what you watchin'?"
"Nothing, just commercials right now." he laughed, I turned the T.V off,"what did your mom wanna talk about?"
"She wanted me and Noah to have dinner with her tonight." he shuffled around on the couch getting comfy.
"Oh, that's nice. so, i'll be home by myself tonight?" I wasn't happy about the idea of him leaving, I really wanted to be with him tonight, and hangout.
"Well, not if you don't want to. Noah's not going so I was wondering if you wanted to come." he sounded nervous, like I was going to say no.
"Of coarse i'll come!" I announced, not trying to sound too excited,"your mom's the best cook ever and I don't want to be alone tonight." there was a smile on his face.
"Great!" he got up and went to the kitchen to grab some breakfast,"We will go around 4:30, okay?"
"Sounds good to me."
Later in the day we were sitting together on the sofa, watching some T.V, I thought about talking to Carter about what I was telling him yesterday and I knew now that I was going to tell him. I commercial went on about the stupid no!no! product and I turned down the volume,"Carter?"
"Ya? what's up?"
"You know last night and when I was talking about my relationship problems?" I tried to sound serious.
"What about it?" I cleared my throat.
"Um," I got quiet,"How did you know you were gay?" he looked at me with shock.
"Seriously? you want to know?" he was acting calmer then I thought he would, I nodded,"well, okay." he moved closer to me, I stayed in the same position the whole time,"i knew because, I never got along with girls, in a relationship way and I never loved them. when I met Noah, we got along really well-"
"Then why did you break up?" I interrupted.
"I didn't love him, but I knew I was gay because when me and him kissed, it felt right, somewhat."
"Oh..."
"Why do you want to know?"
"Just curious." I answered. it was a lie though, everything he said about not getting along with girls and stuff... I could relate.

CARTER'S POV;

"Then why did you break up?" James asked. he seemed interested in all this gay stuff... is he doing this as a joke? Whatever, he probably just wants to know why we broke up, he usually does when I break up with someone.
"I didn't love him," I answered,"but I knew I was gay because when me and him kissed, it felt right," was that a good idea to tell him I kissed Noah?"Somewhat." I added quickly.
"Oh..." yep, I shouldn't have told him about the kiss but I still thought it was weird that he want to know in the first place.
"Why do you want to know?"
"Just curious." I knew it, he just wanted to know. I hope he wasn't laughing at me, in his head. Was this all just a little joke to him?
We continued to watch T.V in silence, then I finally spoke,"Why did you really ask me about being gay? I know you weren't 'just curious'. it's okay, you can tell me." there was no response, but he was looking at me,"James, you're my best friend, we have been for a long time. Just tell me, I won't be upset." James sighed.
"I know, I don't think you'll be upset." He got up and went to his room, but left the door open. I followed him.
"Then what's wrong?" he was sitting on his bed with his knees up and his head down. His arms around his legs unraveled and his legs were now going over the edge of the bed, I sat beside him. He mumbled something, his head still looking down at the ground,"What?" I asked nicely.
"Carter, I-I think I might be bi..." I was shocked, James? Being bi, maybe even gay!? it was crazy to think,"When you told me about how you never got along with girls when you dated them. I'm the same way." He looked up at me with his glowing eyes, they were watery and a tear fell on his face. I hugged him, he hugged back tighter.