The Cadet

Numb

There was something about numbness that was comforting.

It gave someone the ability to slip away from the pain. To even forget there was pain. But to say I forgot the pain would be a lie.

When I had finally snapped out of the shock of what was happening to me, the damage had been done.

I was left alone, half naked, laying on the cold tile floor in a room that smelled faintly of formaldehyde. I looked up at the dark ceiling, counting the tiles until there were no more. It felt like hours before I sat up, pulling my clothes back together to cover my naked body. Nothing felt real as I fastened my pants back together and made sure my shirt was pulled down properly.

I gingerly stood and made my way out of the lab, gripping my bag tightly as I made sure no one else was in the building. It was darker than it was before, but the sun still shone slightly. I could see my reflection in the window and I nearly sobbed from the sight of me. The mascara I had been wearing has run down my face, I'm sure from the crying. My hair was sticking up in all kinds of places, and my clothes were so wrinkled and disheveled, they looked as if they were set in stone that way. Part of me wanted to go home and crawl up in a ball and pretend nothing happened. Another part of me wanted to go find that cadet and rip him apart limb from limb. But for some reason, the part of me that had control of my body at that moment took me towards the staff apartments.

There was no one on the quad, as there were a couple of end-of-the-year events taking place. I was thankful for being the only person trekking across the lawn, as I did not want to have to explain my current state to anyone I wasn't comfortable with. I walked into the staff apartments, and made my way up the stairs.

Every step made my body ache, and my insides felt like they were going to eject themselves out of my body. My feet automatically moved without me thinking, and I only recognized the door number once I had already knocked on it. My mind immediately sobered and I tried to turn to go away, but the door had already opened.

"Evelyn?"

I turned around to Leonard, who still wore his regulation attire for teaching. Upon seeing my face, he immediately became concerned.

"Evelyn? What happened?" He asked, moving to get close to me. I flinched as he reached his hand out, panic rising in my chest as I suddenly got vivid flashbacks.

"No, please. Don't touch me!" I nearly shouted, crouching on the floor and placing my hands over my face to hide.

"Evelyn! Hey! It's me! Leonard!" He said in a distressed state. He did not make a move to try and approach me again, but instead sat on the floor and looked at me with intense worry. "Tell me what happened, Eves"

I started to sob, flopping on the floor and curling up in a ball. I reached for Leonard's hand and took it, relieved that he gripped my hand tightly.

"I panicked- I couldn't stop him though-" I said quickly, breathing heavily. "He just- was so strong-"

I don't think I needed to say more, Leonard understood plenty. His body became rigid as realization washed over his face.

"Who." He said, his voice shaking with anger.

"I was so weak- I couldn't- I tried-"

"Evelyn, who." He repeated, gently making me face home.

"But I couldn't- Spock- he-"

Bones stood up immediately and stomped down the hall, just a couple doors down to pound on Spock's door.

"No, Bones!"

Before I could explain, Spock opened his door and was greeted with a swift punch to the face. I nearly sprinted to the men as they tussled. I half-expected Spock to not throw a punch and just let Leonard beat on him a little until he was done. However, Spock was not holding back, and was defending himself with all his might against the raging machine that was Bones.

"Bones! Stop it!" I shouted, but nothing was working.

Spock was thrown against the couch, causing it to tip over as he was splayed across it. I rushed to him, putting myself between him and Leonard's fist.

"Evelyn! Get back!" Bones ordered, his chest heaving in anger.

I wrapped my arms around Spock's neck and rested my face against his head as he used this moment to gather strength. He rested his head against me and just breathed.

"No! Leonard! Spock didn't do anything!" I said, checking Spock over for anything too severe on his face.

"But you said-"

"You didn't let me finish!" I shouted, trapping Bones with a steely look. He immediately got red in the face and guilt flashed in his eyes.

"Oh, Spock. Buddy I'm sorry-"

"Just leave." I said harshly, gently caressing Spock's bruised face.

"Evelyn-"

"Now." I interrupted again, glaring at Leonard. "I'll speak with you later."

I had clearly sobered up and gotten my hard resolve back while watching Leonard and Spock fight. Leonard simply slumped his head and left the apartment, closing the door with a little too much force.

"Evelyn-"

I looked down at a tired Spock, whose face was slightly contorted in pain. I touched his face gingerly as I assessed how bad his face was.

"Care to explain why Dr. McCoy came over here and assaulted me?" He asked, resting his hands on my forearms. I immediately tensed from the contact, slightly shrinking away from him.

Part of me needed his comfort. A larger part wanted to disappear into myself in order to never be touched again.

"I-" the words got caught in my throat as tears welled in my eyes. Spock looked at me with concern, his dark eyes searching my face.

I hadn't thought about what happened to me since it happened. I still felt numb from everything that occurred. I hadn't even come to the realization of what truly happened in that lab.

"Evelyn?" Spock said, his voice soft, almost as if he spoke any louder he'd break me.

"Spock-" I started, tears rolling down my cheeks as I held back a sob. "Spock, I'm sorry. I've been so stupid. I-" I had to stop to catch my breath as my throat closed up.

Spock place his hands on mine very carefully, despite it being an awkward situation for him.

"It's okay. You can tell me." He said softly.

"It was that cadet, from the labs." I said, fear gripping my heart as I stared into Spock's eyes. "He-"

Just like Leonard, Spock immediately knew. If I was on the receiving end, I would've been scared of the anger I saw in his eyes. He clenched his jaw tightly, staring at me.

"I'll kill him."