Never Letting Go [A Marauder's Story]

Tension Broken

The days following the subtle argument between Sirius and Remus were a shock to all of them. Both James and Peter were pretty used to small spats like this but Grant noticed how distant and slightly childish they were both acting.

"Why don't you just talk to him?" Grant offered one day as he approached Remus during dinner but Remus shook his head.

"No. He needs to know that he can't just bully Peter like that" Remus responded and then continued eating, facing away from Grant.

Remus had spent most of his time with Peter and Grant while Sirius drained the energy out of James with all of his ranting. Peter, James and Grant had no idea what to do with the two of them.

Peter was taking it pretty hard as he felt responsible for the fight since it had been about him but Remus quickly shut down that worry. It wasn't Peter's fault, it was Sirius'. As usual Peter was innocent and Sirius was guilty.

By the 8th day of this tension James seemed to have reached his breaking point because he started to snap a little. James would lose his temper like any other person but he'd always try and keep it under control but the control seemed to have slipped away from him this time.

Remus hadn't been there but Grant had and he relayed the entire event to him.

He explained that James and Sirius had been eating lunch outside and just as they'd finished Sirius started talking about how stupid this whole thing about Peter was again and apparently James had slammed down his food and stormed off after shouting "For goodness sake Padfoot, do you ever think about anyone but yourself?!"

Remus had been stunned to hear this because Jame sand Sirius were as tight as a knot and he'd never seen them fall out much in their first 5 years at Hogwarts. There'd be teasing and small disagreement but James had never said anything like that to Sirius, words he knew would hurt his best friend.

After Grant had told him, Remus decided that if James was losing it, then this had gone too far and they would have to talk. Hating to be the one to break the silence first, he had to force himself out of his seat and outside to where Sirius was sitting, frozen and looking stunned. James was no where to be seen since he'd stormed off and Sirius had been sat alone while Grant explained what had happened in the tent.

Remus let out a sigh and sat down next to Sirius.

"Sirius.." he began but had no idea how to carry on so he just tensed.

"Go ahead and say it Moony" Sirius said coldly "That I'm selfish, a bully, worthless and disappointment..."

"Okay stop" Remus said reaching over and gripping onto Sirius' arm, not hard enough to hurt him. "Stop with this pity party because it's getting old"

Sirius rolled his eyes and finally looked over at Remus. "It's not a pity party I just..."

"You just what? Drove James to the edge of sanity by all of your complaining and self pity?" 

This seemed to hit a nerve with Sirius and he tugged his arm away from Remus and crossed them defiantly "If you're expecting some kind of apology then it's not happening"

"I don't expect you to apologise to me" Remus said immediately "It's Peter you should apologise to"

He observed as Sirius' shoulder slumped "It's not like I upset him or anything...we joke like that all of the time..."

"No Sirius it upsets him, he just doesn't tell you it does because he wants to impress you so badly" Remus said "And nothing he does is ever good enough for you"

Sirius stayed silent for a moment, Remus thinking he'd finally gotten through to him. But he was mistaken because the next second the sarcastic barriers went right back up again.

"You know what Remus you're not exactly a saint" he retaliated angrily "Where do you get off telling me how to act?"

"For fucks sake Sirius is it that hard for you to take responsibility and apologise?!" Remus said, his patience running out.

"Why should I apologise if I haven't upset him?!"

"You don't bloody listen! Why can't you just be nice to Peter?!"

"I am nice to Peter!"

"Not from what I've seen. You're a bully Padfoot!"

"Oh really?! And you're such an angel?!" Sirius retorted, fury building up inside of him, standing up. 

"I never said I was an angel Padfoot!" Remus shouted, standing up too "But at least I know how to treat my friends!"

"oh you mean like your 'friend" Grant?!" Sirius asked, clearly hitting a nerve because Remus' eyes narrowed.

"Shut up!" Remus said stepping forward, feeling the red hot anger threatening to burst out at any moment.

"Trust me Remus you're just a bad as me!" Sirius said, laughing angrily "So you have no right to lecture me!"

"You are insufferable!" Remus yelled, thinking that the yelling alone could break the protective enchantments surrounding them and the tent.

"And you're a coward!"

"Hey!" Came Grant's voice. He was rushing outside, not being able to stand hearing the fight and not stopping it. 

"Oh great! Just when this couldn't get worse you had to fucking show up!" Sirius said spitefully and Remus stepped forward again, slightly in front of Grant.

"Back off" he muttered dangerously. It was one thing to insult him but insulting Grant was different.

"Or what?" Sirius challenged, a smirk growing. This infuriated Remus. How could he still be playing these games? Still smirking like a schoolboy?

"Or nothing" Grant interrupted, pulling Remus away from Sirius, knowing this could end badly if he didn't stop it there and then. 

"Oh shut up!" Sirius retorted and Remus felt all of his rage spill out at once.

"You know what Sirius you win! I'm pissed off so you fucking win! You're right I'm not a damn angel but I sure as hell try my best unlike you who just saunters your way through life with ease!"

Sirius' eyes narrowed this time and he looked flawed.

"Ease?!" he yelled, his voice dripping with venom "nothing about my life has been easy!"

"Oh here we go! Poor Sirius Black!"

"Oh Shut Up Remus!"

"I don't care how rough you've had it it doesn't excuse bullying your friends!"

"At least I'm not constantly trying to prove myself! At least I'm not acting the hero when I'm not!"

"You're so unbelievable! No wonder your parents hate you!"

And that was it. The silence that followed cut the atmosphere in two and all of the sting of betrayal hit Sirius' heart in that moment.

Remus could see tear forming in Sirius' eyes and he selfishly thought 'I'm glad you're upset. Maybe now you know how it feels'

Grant looked shocked at Remus too and Sirius seemed to be tongue-tied.

"Right. I get it" Sirius said eventually, his voice small now "I'm clearly a burden here so..." he went to walk into the tent.

"Sirius..." Grant started but the other boy shook his head.

"Grant it's taking a lot in me right now not to lose it so please don't get in my way" he said dangerously and Grant slowly stepped out of his way reluctantly.

Sirius wasn't in the tent for more than a few seconds before arriving back with his bag slung over his shoulder.

"I'll get out of your way" Sirius said to Remus barely keeping hisnvocie steady "It'll be best for everyone" 

Remus said a tear roll down Sirius' face before he quickly wiped it away, stood back and apparated off.