Never Letting Go [A Marauder's Story]

Aftermath

Remus hadn't spoken to anyone since it happened, not for a few days at least. Yes he'd mutter 'yes' and 'no' at questions but that was the extent of his desired interaction. It was clear to the other three boys that Remus was stuck blaming himself and hurting from Sirius' behaviour all the same.

Grant was observing him from his bed in one of the corners, seeing the lost look in his friends eyes making his heart break more and more. He knew when to leave Remus alone but he seemed to be retreating deeper and deeper into himself after the incident. He remembered how much he'd blamed himself after the incident, not because he'd said anything but because he looked lost and ashamed.

James and Peter left Remus to his own devices, not quite knowing what the best route to take was. They decided they'd just have to wait it out and give Remus some space, hoping he'd adapt but...the change wasn't coming.

The one who took Sirius leaving the hardest was James, who'd snapped at him moments before he left and was feeling almost as guilty as Remus. Although Grant had told James a million times that the incident wasn't his fault James would just shake his head and said 'I should've been there to stop him leaving'.

All 4 of them worried, that was clear. Remus wouldn't say it but they could all see it. Sirius had moved out of hiding with them and straight into the world with a wizarding war uprising, not exactly the safest time to storm off. Peter mentioned how good Sirius was at defence and magic and that he'd be okay. This didn't seem to reassure any of them though because they knew how dangerous it was out there. They were hoping to hear word from the Order that Sirius had joined up with them but none came. James was listening intently at the radio, hoping for any news on Sirius' whereabouts to pop up. They were all listening too, hoping they wouldn't hear the worst.

On the 5th day after Sirius leaving, Remus started to interact with the others more and more. Although, they all noticed that any mention of Sirius made Remus go silent again so they decided not to mention the situation until Remus was ready.

From then on they passed their days slowly, with each passing like a dragged out performance. They'd smile and sometimes even laugh but without Sirius it al felt out of place, like they were inside a jigsaw puzzle but an essential piece was missing and they couldn't find it. The incomplete feeling even spread to Grant who wasn't smiling as much as James was used to seeing.

Their routines would shift and they could spend hours at a time in silence. This became dull and tiring and finally James spoke up on Thursday morning.

"I know we feel a little....lost right now" he said eyeing Remus before continuing "but we have to stay updated with the wizarding world and keeping us hidden...which we can't do effectively if we keep worrying about Sirius"

This made everyone look up, Remus didn't flinch or shrink away, if anything he sat up straighter. Jame's determination was infectious.

"Alright" Remus said shrugging.

"We can still talk about him and keep tabs on where he could be but....I think in the end he'll come back to us. We just need to stay put" James said, starting to talk strategically.

Both Grant and Peter exchanged a glance before nodding in agreement with the idea. Although the atmosphere never got back to what it was before, it was definitely an improvement from insufferable silence. James was back to his usual routine of waking early, cooking, listening to the radio and marking down notes on his large, table length map.

Grant was keeping himself entertained by going out for firewood with Peter and reading some of Remus' schoolbooks. And Remus...well..he smiled. He had to. He had to keep himself distracted otherwise he'd sink into thoughts of Sirius again.