Never Letting Go [A Marauder's Story]

The Many Mysteries Of Peter Pettigrew

Grant had kept his worries quiet. Mainly because James had enough going on and Remus didn't need another thing to panic about. This was the logic of Grant keeping quiet about Peter sneaking off and coming back looking utterly exhausted.

The only thing that could take Grant's mind of of it was the comfort he found in James. Since Grant's confession they'd been practically inseparable and he was definitely not complaining. They would go on evening walks together, discuss anything and everything and then when they got back, Grant would lie down with James next to him on his bed and they'd hold each other until morning. 

Remus had been a witness to all of this of course and he was happy to see the two of them so happy. His two friends in love, it was elating to see. But every now and then he'd feel a tug on his heart. Grant hadn't been committed to anyone, not even Remus himself but James seemed to make him different - no, better.

Remus didn't think Grant could get better but just James' presence brought out the best in him and for the first time Remus was witnessing what he saw as true love. The way they'd hold eachother, laugh and sneak kisses after loving whispers. It reminded Remus and when he and Sirius had first gotten together, except they'd been sneaking around at first.

It had been a few days of this and honestly neither Remus or Peter seemed to have a problem with the affection between James and Grant, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. But it was that evening when Grant and James returned from their walk that Remus felt the tugging feeling on his heart not going away this time. It was like his nerves stood on end as the happy couple entered the tent, laughing and grinning in each other's company. Remus could feel a rush of sharp butterflies erupt in his stomach and clenched his fists slightly. He knew exactly what he saw feeling - jealousy. Not jealous of Grant and James as people but...he wanted what they had. He wanted that with Sirius. 

He sighed, trying to pull himself together and focus on something else. If he thought about Sirius he wouldn't stop, he knew that for certain.

"How was your walk?" Peter asked, looking up at the two with a smile.

"Perfect" Grant said kissing the top of James' head. 

James rolled his eyes and laughed heartily "Well up until Grant almost fell into a puddle"

"You pushed me in J" Grant retorted with a teasing smile.

"I need some air" Remus muttered before grabbing a book without even checking the title and then leaving the tent.

He heard both Grant and James go silent. He hadn't meant to sound sharp but maybe they both heard the undertones in his voice.

Remus didn't try and analyse it too much and just focused on gulping down the evening air, seeing the crimson of a sunset lowering from the atmosphere. It cast a warm glow over the forest and seemed to calm him down a little.

He heard light footsteps from behind him and waited for whoever it was to speak so he knew exactly who had walked over.

"You okay?" Came the soft voice of James.

Remus glanced at his friend with a raised eyebrow, trying his very best to feign feeling none chelant 

"M'fine" Remus said, muttering ad giving James a small smile.

It was James' turn to raise his eyebrows this time, seeing right through Remus.

"Come on Moony. You can talk to me. You don't have to force a smile"

"If I don't i'll look like a moody git" Remus retorted and James chuckled gently.

"Then you'd just be acting like the Moony we all know and love"