The Legend of Meiko

The Truth

At this point, it's not even about Fukase anymore.

I mean, it is, but it's so much more than that. The whole court situation started a chain reaction and it's just been one bad thing after the other. All the problems I had been hiding came out at once and it's been horrible. I hate feeling this way. I hate being so emotional and moody all the time and I just want everything to feel better.

I take on other people's problems to avoid my own and I'm supposed to be taking care of myself. Fine. Whatever. I've stayed up in my room the last couple days, trying my best to ignore just about everyone, and I don't see how it's helping. If anything, I'm just bored and miserable. 

Some people might wonder why I always try so hard to be involved in other people's lives, and the truth is that I'm scared of being forgotten. It's happened before and it could very easily happen again.

I mean, look at me. I'm plain in every way. I don't have super long, brightly colored hair and I'm not half animal like some of the others. I'm just... Meiko. Nothing inherently special about that. But... I want people to care. I want to feel important. Because if I don't go to all the effort, would anybody care about me? No, and why should they? 

If anything has come out of this, it's the realization that I am so incredibly selfish.