written, posted & named: january 25, 2022 from approx. 11:15p.m. to 11:28p.m.
inspiration: my feelings right now. writing and my pure willpower are keeping me from letting a tear drop. i'm tired.
song: already dead - juice wrld (visualizer)
warning: song features drug addiction, deathly thoughts, feelings of loss
/ - /
i feel so out of place,
so lonely.
like everything i'm doing is in vain,
what even am i doing?
where is my placement?
what is my placement?
how do i create it?
did i lose it?
did i ever have it?
she has him,
and he has many others,
she has him,
and he has those he claims not to want,
i have me.
i don't have me.
they're all so far,
yet just a message away, a call.
but i'm here.
i'm just here.
what else is there?
why is it just me?
should i escape to the temporary highs that they do?
i don't want to, but would it be better?
how could it be any worse?
they have each other to escape to.
if i do it, i'll just have me.
am i enough?
in my current state, would that be okay?
would it ever?
i'm stuck here,
stuck in place,
barely going through the motions,
purely existing simply to exist,
trying to live, be alive,
but i'm out of place,
they're all in place,
but i'm out of place,
i have my roles,
but i'm out of place,
they're all together,
but i'm out of place.
places keep changing,
they reform, they swarm to them.
i'm out of place.
a/n
sorry for not writing often. literally every week there's something new being added to my plate. i've gotta constantly rearrange things.. plus, sometimes i'm too down to write, or tired. even if i'm awake, i might end up staring into the darkness instead of being productive. i'm sorry.
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