Frerard - We're Just Friends (Part 1 of The 'Just Friends' Series)

9

Frank paced up and down the grass verge opposite his dorm building. He could hear Jamia talking but wasn't actually listening to a word she was saying. He just walked back and forth, back and forth, giving a 'yeah' or a 'hmm' where he felt it was necessary.

"Listen Jamia!" he finally said, interrupting her mid-sentence. "I really got to go. I've got so much work I'm behind on, and I really need to get it done. I'm sorry."

"I can tell you're not really with it today babe" she said, her smile audible through the phone handset. "It's fine. Call me when you can, ok?"

"Yeah. I will" he replied quietly.

"Love you" she said sweetly.

"Love you too" he replied, although the words caught in his throat, and it really didn't sound convincing.

He ended the call and felt like absolute shit.

He wandered around to the back of the building and found an old bench to sit at. He slumped down and pulled out a cigarette, desperate to feel the burn in his lungs. He inhaled deeply and allowed his shoulders to relax a little. Then the full weight of his situation hit him.

He felt so guilty – both for Gerard and Jamia.

Had he really just walked out on Gerard after what had happened? They had just fucking jacked each other off and kissed a hell of a lot, and then he stormed away without a word? He ran away and just left him there. What would he be thinking? He must he think regretted it – which he kind of did – but only because Jamia had phoned, instantly reminding him that he has a girlfriend, and he really shouldn't be fucking around with his roommate. Deep down he didn't regret it though. He had loved every second of it; the feel of Gerard's skin against his, his lips soft on his body, and the fucking way Gerard had made him come, more intense than he had ever before.

But then there was Jamia. Sweet, lovely Jamia who would be devastated if she knew what had just happened. But why did she have to call at that precise moment? Or maybe it was a good thing she had, because now he would really have to face up to the position he was in.

That position being that he had cheated on his girlfriend.

With his friend.

With his friend who happens to be a guy.

A guy who he knew deep down he had feelings for from the first week he met him. God he was beyond confused.

He went over and over the shit storm in his head. Who did he want the most? And would either of them even want him with the way he'd behaved. He began to feel sorry for himself, somehow convincing himself that he too was a victim in all of this. Yeah right!

He continued to smoke, one after the other, until he was frozen to his bones. He headed towards his block, but as he approached the main door, found himself diverting and heading towards his car. He would give it a little longer before facing Gerard.

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Gerard was still lying in his bed, phone in hand, contemplating calling Frank. He didn't know why – it wasn't like he hadn't been left feeling humiliated enough. Surely calling him would just make him look needy and desperate. He threw the phone onto his bedding and huffed as he rolled onto his side.

He honestly felt like crying. The way Frank just up and left, looking appalled at what had just happened, and calling Jamia as though Gerard wasn't even there. Was he laughing at him now? Was it some kind of fucking game to him? Mess with your roommate's head and then walk away?

He didn't think that of Frank really. Well not until now, when he had abandoned him left him covered in his fucking jiz.

He had cleaned himself off after Frank had left, in an attempt to wash away any remnants of their time together. Then he had climbed back into bed and had spent the last half hour debating whether or not to call Frank.