I'm not sure why i still went to school after this morning. Not only was I completely drained from the lack of sleep but also everything around me was tiring. I excused myself to the bathroom in all my classes so far and just roamed the halls trying to keep my eyes open and my head clear.
I should just leave, go home while it's empty and sleep. There wasn't anybody on this campus that could help, Jordan wasn't even speaking to me. Or maybe i've just been a shitty friend and stopped speaking to her.
Speaking of Jordan, she's the first I see when I step into the cafeteria. I didn't have an appetite for school lunch but i didn't have the energy to drive out somewhere. In fact i'm thinking of using this time to take a nap in the girls locker room.
She doesn't look at me or even acknowledge that i'm here, and it seems that she's found a few other friends considering she's not sitting with Kami - who we've always sat with.
"You're not looking too bright," Johnson comments taking a stand next to me in the growing line.
"I can smell the steamed vegetables from here," I attempt to joke, "This food makes me nauseous."
"Gilinsky isn't dining you out today?"
I shake my head, "I think we broke up."
He stares down at me surprised at my statement and it's the first time i've thought about it like that as well, "Are you sure? He said that?"
"He called me unbelievable and drove off blowing his exhaust in my face," I look up to him.
"Damn," He mutters, "You're a soldier for still coming to school?"
I groan reminded that I still have four hours left
of attendance before I can get some actual rest, "If I could blow the rest of this day, I would."
"let go then."
I stare up at him inching closer in the line, "What?"
"We'll go get lunch somewhere better than this shit and blow the rest of the day," He confirms, he pulls his keys from his front pocket jangling them in front of me as a tease, "Plus, you don't look so good and you know these people will talk."
I stare around the cafeteria, what felt like nothing now felt like a thousand eyes. I figured everyone here knew me because of honors program, or my dad, or the church but now there's a more sinister side to my name.
"Ok."
Johnson looks down to me waiting for me to step out of the line with him. I say excuse me to the people behind me as we cut through them to find the set of doors that lead to the parking lot.
"Thank you."
He shakes his head looking down at me and following my quick pace, "Don't say thank you."
-
I'm out with Johnson longer than I know. He mentioned a Hawaiian styled chick-fil-a and although I didn't get the appeal we still went. It was a lot farther than I thought, and I guess for the food it was worth it.
My phone died at exactly 3:46, well beyond school ending. It was my first time skipping classes, especially more than one at a time. I flunked the last four and hoped the office wouldn't call my dad, although i'm sure they have the preacher of the town on speed dial. Especially when their prized daughter is missing.
Lately I haven't exactly felt like a prize.
"Hey!"
I snap out of my head looking over to Johnson, "Yeah?"
He chuckles dragging his eyes back to the road before passing me the phone on his lap, "Can you put the directions back home in?"
"Yeah, sure."
I take the phone from his hand deciding to put in the schools address so my parents don't see me pull up with another boy. I think they're tired of the men in my life just as much as i'm tired of having men in my life. Plus i'd also have to pick up my car.
"Two hours?" I question looking back over to me, "It didn't feel that long on the way here."
"There was no traffic on the way here," He mentions, "Plus, its fall so the sun sets earlier and people don't know how to drive for some reason when it's dark at 4:30."
"Well do you have a car charger?" I ask him.
He shakes his head, "Just took it out actually. I always leave it on and it drains the fuck out of my battery."
"Well fuck," I sigh deciding to get comfortable in the seat, "We're on this highway for two hours."
"At least you have a full stomach."
I jokingly roll my eyes at him and he lets out a deep laugh. The bass in the back of his voice reminds me of Gilinskys, how he hasn't talked to me this entire time, and I guess viseversa but im not sure when's a good time for him.
"Have you spoke to Gilinsky?" He randomly questions like he hears my thoughts.
I shake my head, "I don't really want to talk about it."
He nods, "He's a fool to not understand."
"No, i'm the fool for trying to make him understand," I defend, "What my dad does isn't normal."
Just as Johnson opens his mouth to say something else the tire popping fills the air. The car quickly shakes, and Johnson unbelievably has a quick enough reaction time to pull us to the side. We both look at each other in pure terror of the sudden events.
"Well, fuck," He says his frustration growing, "I'm guessing you don't know how to change a tire?"
I shake my head, "You don't?"
"Yeah, it's just gonna be a bitch to do by myself."
He exits the car carefully eyeing the traffic speeding past us. I follow him out and the evenings winds make me colder immediately, Johnson walks around to my side staring at the damaged tire.
"Looks like we just snagged a nail or something," He shrugs properly getting down to eye it more carefully, "There's a spare on the back."
"Is there anything I can do?"
He shakes his head standing back up, "Just stand there and look pretty."
"No problem I guess."
He shuffles towards the back of the car and the cars on the highway show him no mercy with blowing the door right open for him. He's behind the car for about seven minutes before popping back up, this time rolling a tire in front of him. It lets loose and i stop it for him just in front of the busted tire.
"You're not exactly dressed for this occasion," He points out, he disappears again and comes back with a box of tools.
"If only id known how to dress for a bursted tired," I joke.
"It's gonna get cold fast," He says, he stops in from of me dropping the tool box at my feet.
"Then you better hurry on the tire."
He smiles down at me shaking his head before turning to face the damage the mail had done. Hopefully this was fast, I can't imagine staying on the side of the highway any longer.
It was the first time I wasn't thinking about everything happening in my life right now, and once the sun set so did my mental health.
—
*unedited*
