Time to move on
Paradis the year 857 late summer (Beginning 1917)
The young woman stands there with a chilled look. She has been invited to the Queen's country estate today by Queen Historia and Diplomat Kiyomi Azumabito. Rather, she was persuaded to do so and brought here. The former members of the alliance will arrive at Paradis in 24 hours and both heads of state are both hoping that Hizuru's last direct descendant of the shogun will find a capable marriage candidate among them.
The two servants eagerly take the measurements from the 1.78 m tall woman, who has grown a little since the war against Eren Jaeger. She doesn't like the fact that she is taller than all other women. She looks bored with her silver-gray eyes that don't radiate a bit of joy.
The servants have received an order from Diplomat Kijomi to dress up the young lady standing in front of them. The servants are constantly teasing her with their needles, giving her instructions to keep still, and asking questions about which color or fabric she prefers. They dress her up nicely like a docile doll. Ugh!
She doesn't understand why everyone is scurrying around so excitedly and talking in a tour when everything seems dreary to her. How much she misses the quiet of her garden in which she mourns after her memories and in which she can dream of better times. Her oasis of refuge where nobody is welcome, well almost. One is already dead, murdered by her own hands and the other someone she left injured; and until recently she thought that someone had died too. A stab goes through her heart.
You seem to have a lucky hand for men and you seem to treat them wonderfully, she thinks sarcastically about herself.
The background noise of her surroundings brings her back into her reality.
Bored, she listens to the chatter of the two servants, which only consists of gossip:
- " Have you ever heard? Rainer Braun is one of Alliance returnees. According to rumors, he has a weakness for the queen ... "
- " No, not possible. The poor will be disappointed to find out that the queen is already under the hood. But such a liaison would be too complicated between Paradis and Marley. "
- "Or not, it could have been a sign of peace between the two nations. But we still have our second candidate. Rumors say, that one of the Alliance members has a weakness for Miss Mikasa ... This would strengthen the bond between Hizuru and Paradis and create a strong alliance. "
The young Ackermann is not at all interested in the political talk between the two of them. Mikasa just blows a strand of her black hair off her face, bored. She can guess who it is. She expects that Jean will ask for her hand and she has known for years that he is in love with her, but has never been able to find anything romantic about her former comrade and friend. Now he thinks he has a good chance in the hope that she would agree to a marriage out of weakness. Far from it ... Eren is still on her mind ... and also her captain . She never really got off with Eren and her guilty feelings towards Captain Levi wear her down over time. There has never been room for Jean except a feeling of family camaraderie, at best friendship.
The conversation continues:
- "You don't mean the captain, are you? Diplomat Kijomi finds sympathy and prefers him ", the servant escapes a giggle.
At the mention of the captain she feels deep guilty feelings that cannot be shaken off and she ever regrets talking to him about his request on Falco's back. She wonders how he would react if he saw her now. She has to admit that she misses him very much. At night she cries for Eren and the captain in her sleep. Again and again she has the dream where she lives in the vastness of nature with someone who has the characteristics of Eren, but also of Captain Levi and leaves her confused after waking up.
She thinks the captain would send her away disappointed for leaving him with Eren's head in her arms.
She feels nauseous at this grotesque sight she has presented to everyone. She's not proud of what she did. But she had no choice, did she?
She had to give Eren an acceptable burial and peace ... Peace that she seeks and wants for herself too.
YOU ARE READING
Our future signed in letter
FanficWhat if everyone around you was able to come to terms with the past, but not yourself? This is the situation in which Mikasa finds herself after she hastily fled with Eren's head. Now, she has to come to terms with her life on Paradis. In the thick...
