Kat Reviews [CFCU]

Jihad | Mich

Author: 08_Umm_Waraqah
Timeline: 10/2021 - 28/01/2022
Package: Juvenile Hermit
Chapters Reviewed: Chapter 1 - Chapter 3

Hi there, 08_Umm_Waraqah ! I'm really sorry it took me more than a month (as promised in my page) to complete this review. Last year was a hectic one, but now that I'm in my holiday, I can finally spend more time focusing on Jihad's review. I also apologize for only being able to finish the first three chapters for now. But I hope this in-depth review will be worth the wait!

I truly hope this review will be helpful, especially during your editing. Please don't feel obliged to stick to this entire review, since most of them are merely suggestions. Feel free to leave an inline comment if you have any questions!

P. S. The maximum score in this review is four. The overall score is an average of all the aspects (Scenes, Conflicts, Chapter Length, etc.) And lastly, the score of each aspect is an average of all the chapters (Chapter 1, Chapter 2, and Chapter 3).

P. S. S. Stay tuned for a surprise at the end of this review! Though this doesn't justify the delay that I've done, I hope you'll accept this token of gratitude for your utmost patience :)

🦀 SCENES 🦀

(3,7 out of 4)

CHAPTER 1

(3,9 out of 4)

Even though there aren't too many scenes in this chapter, and the existing ones don't advance the plot much, I still find these scenes all neatly arranged. It's supposed to be a simple conversation between a mother and her daughter, but the dynamic dialogue exchange between the two and the perfect-timed flashbacks all contribute a lot in this chapter. I can't find any unnecessary scenes either, so far. Even the flashbacks aren't too many to overwhelm the readers—they're naturally weaved into the current-day narration. You've done an amazing job here!

I only have one suggestion for this part—in the scene when Jihad imagines herself lunging off the chair and attacking her mother due to hatred. This is a tricky scene, since it's only a part of Jihad's imagination instead of reality. I still find the transition to-and-from the real world a bit abrupt. If it's the effect you're hoping for, then you should stick with it. But if you're wondering whether this scene can be smoother while still being horrifying to read, then I suggest extending the sentences, or even adding another one or two more.