𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋 |𝟏𝟖+|

𝐎 𝐍 𝐄

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

　✼  N E V A E H ✼　

Okay, so maybe I have the tendency to say what's on my mind the minute I think about it. For some it might be great, but for others, they despise me for it. I can't blame them though.

It's not like I completely and totally wholeheartedly despise myself. I love me. Sometimes. We may not always see eye to eye but we agree on some things and others, not so much.

It's not like I'm a horrible person, I'm really not. At least, I don't think I am. I like to think that I am a kind and generous person in certain situations, it's what I have to act like for a living so it just sticks with me. But then again, everyone gives themselves the benefit of the doubt. Because if you think you're a bad person, then why wouldn't everyone else? 

It starts with the mind and ends with the mind.

Right now I was doing what I get paid to do- saving lives. No, I didn't choose this profession because it pays well, I actually enjoy being a doctor. I'm good at my job, but it really isn't the easiest thing in the world. People put their lives in my hands and I have to do everything in my power to make sure they get it back.

Lord knows how many mistakes I've made in the past that I wish with everything in me I could reverse time and fix it all up, switch places with the person. But everything happens for a reason, right? I was still struggling to figure the answer to that out myself.

"So, you want to go out to eat, Estelle? It's on me," Brandon says as he's leaning on the door frame of my office with one lean and barely tatted arm.

Normally I would find that hot, attractive even, and I'd be somewhat turned on, but right now, I'm not feeling it. Or feeling him. 

I don't know what happened and I sure as hell don't know what I was thinking when I did him, maybe he was just what I was feeling at the time. He's a scrawny 20 something guy with blonde hair and blue eyes and so not my type. He's the opposite of my type and it's safe to say that I was drunk when we... yeah.

I look at him and answer him the same answer I give him every time he asks, which happens to be every day, "Look here, Brandon-" I start.

"Actually, it's Brendan," he interrupts, he says that every day as well. I could've sworn his name was Brandon. And he doesn't have any manners and is far from being a gentleman, I really need to have a clear and conscious mind whenever I make a mistake like that.

"Don't interrupt me," I shove a warning finger in his face, showing him to not bother me right now or ever for that matter. "We fucked once, yet you continue to ask me to dinner every time like I'm your damn wife or girlfriend or-"

And if you can't already predict, Brandon interrupts me yet again. Oh this boy needs to find a way to exercise his manners and use them more often. He must really want to get fired.  "Actually it was twice." He uses his fingers to make out the number as if I don't know what two looks like. He really thought he did something. 

Boy, please.

"No, I'm sorry, I will not go out with you. Not now, not ever," I clarify as he turns around to leave. "Shut the door on your way out please." Maybe that was a little too far fetched, but no one told him to repetitively get on my fucking nerves. That doesn't end well for anybody no matter who they are.