𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋 |𝟏𝟖+|

𝐅 𝐎 𝐑 𝐓 𝐘

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-　

✼ N E V A E H ✼

Do you know that feeling?

The feeling when it's the first summer day, and school is out of the way and you can relax and forget all about the days of the week. You could stay up for as long as you want. Laugh from the moment the sun comes up to the moment it falls back down behind the mountains or until it's out of sight and nowhere to be found until the next morning. 

That feeling was thrilling. It felt unending. 

But all good things come to an end, don't they?

That's exactly what I felt with him. It was love, or I thought it was. I guess it's kind of hard to figure out what real love is if you've never been shown it. Or if the person who had always shown it was no longer there to give it to you. 

The endless summer days were only one of the many things I've dreamed of. I only got one summer as a teenager where I felt like a teenager for that matter. For me being a teenager was part of living life and the ideal life was hanging out with your friends and going shopping every weekend. 

I guess I did live that part of my teenage life. When I was with him, his version of going shopping every weekend was going to a brothel and looking at girls he wanted to buy for his uncles and brothers for their birthday. Or it would be shopping for what kind of gun or weapon he wanted to kill someone with. He would say it had to be brand new to make the kill more memorable.

And his version of hanging out with my friends was hanging out with his usually drunk and several years older than my friends who would constantly try to get into my pants. And one would think that since I belonged to him, he wouldn't let that happen, but that simply wasn't the case. 

In fact, he fucking encouraged it. Sometimes I felt more of a sex worker than I did his girlfriend. If one of his friends wanted me at any moment of the duration of our time together he would let it happen and he would watch. Watch as they slid their hands into my pants or slipped their hands into my shirt to squeeze my breasts. And he would smirk and even laugh whenever any sound of discomfort or pain left my mouth. 

I had gotten used to such a terrible thing at a young age that I expected and accepted it. When I wouldn't get it, I would feel so disoriented and out of order. I didn't feel like myself. I didn't feel like anything or anyone. Because if no one was having sex with me, who was I? I wasn't anyone but a body they would use and put on display until their dicks or their tongues were sore. 

I always thought it was normal to be used like that. It wasn't until I was 17 and in school to become a doctor that I realized it wasn't normal to be having sex every single day, multiple times in one day. A good amount of people in that class haven't even been fucked once in their lives. 

It's crazy the things someone will do, the pain they will cause you just to get what they think is the true meaning of life. Not love, not freedom, but money.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-　

"Do you know anything about being in a Mafia, Dr. Mariano?" Atticus asked me, hands intertwined with each other as he interrogated me acting like we were in some investigator movie. 

Jordan, which I had now discovered his name was Kellan, had practically carried me out of the room into the interrogation room. I didn't really mind because it made Atticus mad that Kellan's hand was wrapped around my waist and he could carry me without earning a protest from me, either. 

But because I could be mentally unstable, I still had to have one of my arms cuffed to this chain on top of the table. Coming to think of it, it's smart they didn't cuff me to the leg of the table because if they- more specifically Atticus- pissed me off, I could easily flip the table over and bang his head against it like I'm Hulk.