Story Of My Life (In A Relationship With EXO Lay ✅)

5 | Am I Scared Of Affection?

"Fei, I'm turning 20 next month."

I glanced at Alanna and she stared off at distance, lost in her own thoughts. I knew she was concerned about the future. About what we were supposed to do if we never got to debute. We were spending our precious beginning of our youth in training, having no idea where we were going to be in the coming years.

"You can become an actress if you want, Hyun jae." I tossed a candy into my mouth and she gave me a look. "Alanna, Alanna, my love." I rolled my eyes. "Seriously, what's with you hating your name this passionately?"

She shrugged. "Have you thought about it too. Like what are you going to do if you didn't debute. What did your parents say about it?"

I munched the candy, and hummed. Irene had no idea what my family was like. I hadn't even seen them in the time I was here. Almost an year and half. Did I miss them? No. I did miss my annoying sister though. We talked over the phone sometimes but not much, I didn't want her to be concerned about me.

"Aren't you going to answer?" she turned her face to stare at me.

I sighed. "I never thought of it. About what I want to become. It might sound absurd to you but really, I'm just going with the flow. I might not debute, I might not get a suitable job afterwards and blah blah.. But, those scenarios are for future. They're not happening in the present, so I'm just enjoying my time doing whatever it is that I'm supposed to do."

She dropped her eyes. "I don't think I can think like you. Being an idol has been my dream for a long time." Looking outside the window, she smiled and went on her toes to get a clear view. I frowned, following her eyes and saw Junmyeon with some guys. Wait. Weren't they ShiNee members? "Junmyeon always says that I've it in me to debute in the next SM group. I hope his words come true."

"You seem to have a crush on him." I raised my eyebrows and she hushed me. I shook my head and we went downstairs to have lunch. Junmyeon was still talking to the guys and she again sneaked a peek at him. "He's a handsome man," I said and she jumped. Girl actually forgot my existence when he appeared. "You're seriously stalking that guy?"

She elbowed me and pushed me back to the corridor when Junmyeon looked in our direction. "Are you crazy?" Alanna hit me playfully and I smirked.

"Just confess to him before other girls get their hands on him," I said and she rolled her eyes. She should know that everyone had hots for this guy, and chances of her having him were nil if she didn't make a move soon.

"It's not happening." Peeking through the wall again, she looked at him and he smiled at her. Oh! Junmyeon noticed her.

"Hi." Junmyeon waved at her and then looked back at his friends. "Bye." he mouthed before following them to the parking lot. Hyun Jae slumped her shoulders and leaned back against the wall.

"My heart is pounding so fast. It's annoying." She whined and I smacked her head. "Ya!" she scowled.

I shook my head and walked away, saying my parting words, "Just confess to him dumbo!" Going to the cafeteria, I took my seat and grabbed my lunch. Irene joined me after a minute. She didn't say it but I knew her mind was full of confusion on how to handle her feelings. "I'm not asking you to marry him, but make a move at least. Get him interested in you. After debute, you can be with him, but if you didn't step up your game then say him goodbye already."

"I don't know, Fei. I'm awkward with guys. Most of my classmates back in school used to think I hate them."

"Well the stares you give to people can feel like you are planning to murder them." I sipped water. "No offense."

She looked troubled. "Actually boys were too flirty with me when I was around, they made me uncomfortable. Everyone would makes bets who is going to sweep me off my feet, you know. It made me feel like I'm a shiny toy for them, nothing more. So I didn't interact much in school."

"You've become cautious. Kind of expected if you went through that." I felt a movement from the corner of my eyes and saw Junmyeon entering the cafeteria. He was with Yixing and some other guys. "Your lover is here, by the way."

Her eyes widened and she at once lowered her head. Yixing nodded at me while he passed by my side. I didn't nod back but blinked. Junmyeon was busy talking to someone else, hence he didn't notice us. She sighed in relief but I could tell she was disappointed that he didn't see her. It was kind of crazy how liking a person could make us behave.

I won't ever fall for someone in this stupid way.

That night, Yixing visited me again. When I opened the door and saw him, my eyes narrowed automatically. I didn't like to be surprised. "What are you doing here?" I leaned against the door, not letting him in.

He shrugged in response. "I thought I should give you my company now and then since you're alone here most of the times."

I scoffed. "Just say you have hots for me." I opened the door wider and let him in. His hand grabbed mine when I started towards the kitchen to make him some refreshment. "You're getting brave, huh."

"I've hots for you." His dimple smile made an appearance.

I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing, shaking my head. He let go of my hand and we made our way to the couch after he said he didn't want anything to drink or eat. I had a movie on, but I turned it off and faced him. "You miss talking in Chinese, is that it?"

"I've Chinese traine with me, Fei."

I had my head propped on my elbow and he twirled my hair in between his fingers, smiling weirdly. "What's up with you? Why are you smiling like that?"

"Nothing."

I frowned. "You came here for nothing?"

"As I told you, I wanted to give you my company." His eyes met mine, and I placed my head on the back arm of the couch as I stared up at him. "Would you like to meet my friends?"

"No." I didn't want to meet anyone, get acquainted with them and then have them judge me. I would rather live alone. His face fell and I added, "I'm content with knowing you for now."

"I'm honoured." He also set his head beside me and stared deep into my eyes. "When I met you back in school, I really wanted to know you. I still think I don't know you at all."

"Is this a way to make me talk and tell you sappy story?" I didn't know why but I lifted my hand and pushed hair out of his eyes to see his face clearly.

"You're one interesting girl. I can't help but get drawn to you"

I chuckled. Oh boy, if only you knew. "When you debut, people are going to be crazy about you. You're handsome and talented." I never thought I would say these words to anyone, but with Yixing, I was a different person. I knew it now.

"Are you crazy about me?"

I chuckled. "Don't get ahead of yourself. I'm talking about fans, not about me, whom you rejected on the first meeting." My hand fell by my side.

He took a deep breath. "You're not letting it go anytime soon. Are you?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Never."

"It's fine. That way I'll always stay in your mind and life. It's a win-win."

I slapped his shoulder lightly. "Cheesy. Are you flirting with me?" I gasped dramatically and he leaned closer that I could feel his breath hover my face. My calm eyes looked at him. I wasn't easy to be intimidated if he was trying to do that.

"I told you Fei, I've hots for you."