My Cyberbully

Chapter Eight

     Chapter Eight

     The person staring back at me from the mirror was someone I have had a difficult relationship with.  To be honest I still feel the sting of my younger days when school kids judged every little thing about you.  Where I am originally from nothing has changed.  Even the grownups have these attitudes that make you want to shove juicy cow pies in their stuck up faces.  Being poor is one of many sins in that town, but don’t get me started because seriously I won’t be able to stop.

     Still the girl who glared at me from the glass eventually believed everything said about her appearance.  They said she was fat.  She saw areas in need of toning.  They said she was ugly.  She tried everything in her power to enhance her features and take away attention from the less desirable ones, but nothing worked.  I finally came to the conclusion that they all sucked something nasty and old and that I shouldn’t give a crap what they thought. 

     Of course in a way I was lying to myself because I did care even though I tried hard not to.  I was convinced that school was a breeding ground for bullies and certain groups that condemn others for not wearing the popular trends or listening to the popular tunes.  It was all about physical appearance and material possessions.

     Slowly but surely I learned about the magic of cosmetics.  I know it makes me sound shallow, but I really wanted to cover up whatever it was causing people to lash out with vile words.  In fact their words will live me for the rest of my life and ultimately shape how I view public places with large crowds.  Their immaturity will sculpt a body image problem that would take its toll as I matured.

     Now I have bags of cosmetics.  One might take a look and think I was addicted or vain, but both were falsehoods.  I was hardly addicted to anything other than truth and vanity was absolutely foolish to assume I adapted to.  I am insecure actually thus the reason for so much foundations, powders, eyeliners and all that junk that basically is manipulated to transform a lady’s face.

     I watched suds circle the drain and then disappear as I turned on the faucet.  The fresh current of water was cold and I splashed it on my face to rinse away any bits I missed with the cloth.  Aside from that I heard somewhere that cold water helps tighten your pores. 

     So then when the online bullying started it brought back all that crap in high school and I wanted to disappear like the suds down the drain.  I wanted the world to fade away.  I couldn’t stop my heart from racing every time I’d turn on my computer.  The rolling nausea merely worsened when I’d browse my pages. 

     It was as I padded my face dry that I heard the sirens.  I hung the towel on the rack and slowly made my way through the apartment.  The moment I stepped out into the hallway red and blue rotating lights washed over me and the walls.

     A few minutes later a policeman were knocking on my door and through a lengthy process of intrusive questions and permission to allow them to look around I was told the horror that occurred in the apartment below.  The officer then advised me to keep all doors and windows locked which I wasted no time assuring myself they were before he headed back downstairs to join an army of paramedics and other officials.