My Cyberbully

Chapter Twenty-Two

     Chapter Twenty-Two

     His fingers weaved through my hair.  Holding me close his heat caressed me, his masculine aroma an air filling me with an odd comfort and thrill, his arms refused me an inch moving room.  Before I perceived this to be a sadistic maneuver manipulated by obsession, but now as I lay there I believed it to be a quirk of an overzealous and insecure admirer. 

     Damon evolved from being a creepy dude on the internet who obtained information and access to my life to a dark angel/caregiver who saved me from myself.  There was still a part of me that refused to accept him.  It was the part of me that argued his intentions, remembered minute by minute his violence towards the moron neighbor who once occupied the apartment below, and wondered why he devoted himself to basically being my "slave". 

     I never thought I needed saving.  I never wanted a slave who tended to my every need or desire.  For so long I thought I'd be alone and without a yoke that may equal mine.  What I mean by that is...basically I never believed or even thought there was someone for me in this life.  I always felt I was unlovable and incapable of being someone's beloved.  To put it another way I was obsessed with self-hatred though I tried to love myself. 

     Now I wish I had an ending for this story, but since it is my life I can't come to one.  I can tell you that as I slipped back into my computer habits my haters/stalkers/bullies oddly were silent.  In fact when I visited their online profiles on various networks they harassed me on their activity ceased shortly after Damon entered my life.  Was there a connection?

     No longer were my stories being bombarded with comments claiming how much I suck at writing.  My DeviantART page regardless of my lack of presence also seemed safe from trolls and their dislike for my artwork or photographs/cosplays.  Over on YouTube...pretty much the same.  Those stalkers/bullies seemed to drop off the face of the Earth.

     I wanted to ask Damon if he knew anything about it, but as I bit my fingernails I allowed the temptation to be chased away by fear of the truth.  He vaguely insinuated anyway that he'd do anything and everything to keep me safe regardless of who was messing me with.  Having confided in him while he was still just a "friend" in cyberspace I didn't restrain in what I told him and who was trolling/harassing/bullying me on popular websites.  I had even sent him screen caps of the users and their comments to me. 

     So...what else am I supposed to think?  How am I supposed to feel?  I can say without a doubt I loved him now.  Though we hadn't known each other long offline, maybe eight months, I found him to be genuine in every way.  I know that by my entries it may seem shorter, but I don't pen my every moment or every event in that time frame.  And of course some may argue eight months is a long time to know someone, but again I must insert reason here.  I gave him my virginity, something precious to most young girls, and therefore I needed a course of months to know him before I even entertained the idea.  It took me long nights and days to see him as someone other than an ordinary male with thoughts on one thing.  He proved to me he was different, someone who thought of me as a person and not a piece of ass.  It might be an odd love he favors upon me, an obsessive love where he perceives me as his queen, but...I never met a man like him before.  He was unique and special in my heart.