My Cyberbully

Chapter Fifteen

     It was actually easy to convince him to remove the rope.  I don’t know how I did it really.  I just told him what he wanted to hear, what he wanted me to say and what would convince him to trust me.  The words came so naturally.  I must have been getting clever in my old age.  And I did feel old perhaps not so much in looks but rather physically and mentally.

     When I was a child I learned that evil lurked everywhere and wore familiar faces.  It can be your mom or your dad.  Then again I guess I wouldn't consider them evil so much as misguided.  My parents weren’t prim and proper.  They definitely weren’t rich or even the slightest bit wealthy.  Anger governed my father and his warped mind made his illness open and in the face of those who knew him best.

     My mother put up with him for seven years.  Seven years of beatings and ramblings of wanting to cheat on her and how he expected her to find another woman for him.  I can imagine how heartbroken she was.  I can imagine how scared she was.  So in light of all this I learned how to talk to defuse one’s anger before the bomb could explode.

     In the bathroom I made certain the door was locked before I set a change of clothes on the back of the toilet.  At least here I can fantasize while laid out in a hot perfumed body of water.  Here I can cry and rely on my mind to elude this hurtful reality.  In my world I could be anything and anybody.  I can be a creator of worlds where death isn’t the end and where super beings dominate the cosmos. 

     The tears stinging my eyes as I gazed into the mirror were hot and refused to cease.  Even as I began to disrobe I felt broken.  The internet was a web of danger where predators played upon naïve young girls and boys.  I wish I knew then what I know now.  I wish I had a father to warn me the nature of obsessed men.  At last I never really knew my father and grew up without one.

     I stepped into the tranquil waters and was buried in lovely scented bubbles and salts.  I am a huge fan of Japanese Cherry Blossom Bath And Body Works shower gel, body wash, lotion and perfume.  It was a beautiful elixir that tamed my hammering heart.

     Then it was shattered as a hard knock landed on the door and I jerked.  His voice carried across the white painted generic wood and the pain flooded back in droves.

     “I really love that scent,” he said.  “Maybe…”  He paused as though having difficulty choosing his words.  “Maybe sometime…”  He softly laughed.  It sounded nervous and dream-like.  “I would really love to be able to share a bath with you someday.”

     I never before felt like drowning myself, but if it would ease the pain or offer escape I’d seriously considered it.  And the tears kept rolling down my face. 

     A 28 year old woman left her husband after five years of marriage.  Although the husband had always been verbally abusive towards her, he had recently begun to act out violently.  After she had left, his first tactic was to attempt to convince her family and friends that she had made a terrible mistake by leaving him.  In this he was largely successful.  His wife however, stubbornly refused to resume the relationship.  He then sent her a barrage of gifts, flowers and romantic letters and poetry.  When this did not have the desired effect, he attempted to abduct their daughter from school.  His final tactic was to successfully abduct his wife, tie her to a chair, douse her with petrol, and threaten to set her alight until she agreed to move back in with him.  This she did, until his arrest two days later.

     I remembered the case study provided by Chartered Forensic Psychologist Dr. Lorraine Sheridan.  Was that going to be my fate as well?