I'll Go On

I'll Go On Part 4

The hurt was there but you wouldn't have traded your feelings or time with Severus for anything else. You had amazing memories and that would have to be enough for your story together. Letting go of Severus was going to be harder than anything you've ever done in your life.

You would go on loving, wanting, and missing him. Whereas he would go on finding a new life with Lily.

You continued your life as if Severus was just a speed bump in the road. Your students became more miserable, seeing as how Severus reverted back to his stoic ways. You continued to be your joyful, loving self throughout the day but it was the nights that haunted you. The memories flooded your brain, the empty space in bed made you feel utterly alone. Having to see him every waking day crushed you more and more. Then when you realized that it had only taken a day and a half for one man to tear you to pieces, you became cold.

Minnie had asked you why you didn't fight for Severus. Your reply was simple, you shouldn't have to fight especially when there is no battle to be won. It would always be her...always.

A year and a half had passed since those dreadful days. You had been numb to many of your emotions for some time now, but you still kept up the 'happy' act with the students. You held one small secret close to your chest... Lucius Malfoy. Every now and then you'd meet for a mid-day rendezvous. It started after a heated conversation over his misbehaved child. You were ashamed but with him, you were able to feel. There was no emotion, there was just pure lust and physical chemistry.

"Good morning, everyone! Today we'll be going over to Professor Lupin's class for a bogart demonstration. So, please, be on your best behavior. But before we go I would like for you all to turn to page 410 for a quick debriefing."

You watched as your students lazily pulled out their books and grumbled. The famous trio even looked upset.

"What is that matter with you all? Was there something rotten in your breakfast this morning? Come on, page 410 everyone," you tried to give them a little push.

One of you students called out, "Um, Ms.Y/l/n... it's just that-"

"Shut it! Don't you dare say a word," Draco Malfoy spat, seeming a bit protective?

You set down your wand and stood in front of the class, "Mr. Malloy, please be more respectful to your classmates. Now, please, someone, tell me what is going on?"

Mr. Weasley's face turned red, "Professor Snape! H-He-"

You took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of your nose, "Mr. Weasley, take a deep breath if he has done something you are more than welcome to report it to me, your head of house, or the headmaster."

He let out the breath he was holding, "He's a cold-hearted, raging idiot! He's marrying Harry's mom for Godric's sake!"

You turned off your happy act at that moment.

"O-Oh, and this is why y-you're all upset?" You said, trying to hold back tears.

Draco was surprisingly upset, "of course!!! He was calm when he was with you. Now he is always so frantic, trying not to ruin his relationship. H-he's Frantic and mean... and that's coming from me! He's a bloody wanker!"

Your mind was spinning but you need to take control, "OKAY! Enough, I appreciate the sentiment from all of you... I do. B-but there is nothing more that I can do. Life has different paths for us all. I'll tell you what... if we get through today's horrible class together. We can spend thirty minutes the next period on the quidditch field."

Slowly but surely they all flipped to page 410. The students really were invested in you two. You were at your desk, trying to normalize your breathing. A year and a half to the day and they're engaged to be married? You guessed he truly was happy then. Maybe it was time you started to look elsewhere. He would never be coming back to you.