I'll Go On

I'll Go On Part 7

You continued on with your lesson. As the students took down their notes you heard giggles from a few of the girls.

You quirked up your eyebrows, "Ladies? Is there something you'd wish to share with the class?"

"We were just thinking about the cause and effect of Amortentia," one of the girls blushed.

"Ah, I see. Well, have you all brewed it yet?" Not knowing if Severus had gone over it yet.

"No, but we'll be brewing it tomorrow! Any advice, Professor?" Longbottom asked.

You chuckled, "Don't drink it. This is a great example actually. With brewing Amortentia you must take your time. The results are quite intriguing. If brewed correctly you'll be able to smell the one you're meant to be with. However, drinking it can make you go mad with love, you become obsessed with the person you set your sights on."

"What does yours smell like Professor?"

That question caught you off guard. You haven't brewed the potion in quite a while. Scared to know the outcome.

"I'm not sure. It's been a while... Anyways-" You went further into this cause and effect theory. Wrapping up the conversation so the students could refocus.

You finished teaching for the day and slumped into your classroom chair, eyeing your cauldron in the corner. You know better than to brew the potion, what if it still smelled like Severus?

You thought, "to hell with it!"

You took your time to brew it perfectly. As you were bottling the potion Minerva entered your classroom.

"The History of Magic's teacher, brewing a potion?" She laughed.

"You've caught me..." you gave a sheepish grin.

Minnie stood next to you looking at the pearl sheen liquid, "Amortentia? Is there someone you want to tell me about?"

You sighed, "No, Minnie. The students asked me how my Amortentia smelled. And the last time I brewed this was after Severus took me on our first date."

She sighed as well, "what did it smell of then?"

You smiled at the memory, "hm, leather, old books, and the Potions classroom. I'm just curious to see if it's changed."

Minerva understood the curiosity, she was curious too. "Do you want me to give you privacy?"

You smiled at her and held her hand, "No, actually, please stay."

She patted your hand and waited while you sniffed the potion. "Well? Is it Severus?"

"N-no... it's nothing. What does that mean?" You looked a bit concerned.

"Unfortunately, the only person who can answer that question is Severus himself," Minerva scoffed. "I'll ask him, I'll make it seem like it's coming from me so don't worry."

You nodded and looked at the clock, " Thanks Minnie. I'm going to freshen up for dinner. I'll see you shortly."

Minerva smiled, maybe you were beginning to become yourself again. "I'll see you soon."

In The Great Hall dinner was served. Severus watched as you walked towards the table, shocking him. You rarely attend dinner in The Great Hall anymore. You sat down next to Remus, you looked concerned. He knew you wouldn't speak to him so he decided to use legilimency on you.

What does it mean? Am I done for?

He furrowed his eyebrows but was pulled from his thoughts when Minerva took a seat next to him and tapped him on his shoulder.

"Minerva, good evening."

"Good evening, Severus. I have a small query for you." Minerva explained 'her' situation to Severus, hoping for an answer.

"No smell? That's a very rare occurrence but it tends to mean that there are no prospects for you- at the moment of. It doesn't mean you won't meet someone next week or even a few days. Not to worry, Minerva," he nodded his head and smiled.

His attention was brought back to you when an owl flew in, placing a parchment in your hand. He watched as you read the letter, your eyes sparkling. It's been a while since you've lit up like that, he walked into your mind again.

Dearest Y/n,

Spending the day at Hogsmeade with you was absolutely spectacular. I must see you again, it's hard to imagine another day without your beautiful smile. Please meet me tonight at The Three Broomsticks if you can. I'll be waiting.

Yours,

Sirius Black

"Should I do this? Severus doesn't love me anymore, he's moved on so-"

For some reason, Severus lost his breath. He watched you show the letter to Remus, who smiled from ear to ear. The two of you talked for a minute or two before you jumped out of your seat, leaving the great hall. There was a tug on Severus' heart... he hadn't moved on.

What was he going to do? In all honesty, his relationship with Lily was draining. He loved her so much that he was doing everything possible to keep her happy. He was always nervous, thinking that he could lose Lily at any moment. Which then caused a lack of sleep, making him irritable throughout the day. Later that night as he sat in his office analyzing the relationship he shared with you.

He realized that he never felt as if he had to keep you happy in order to stay. He was relaxed and of course, he went out of his way on date nights but your days together were simple. You were happiest being held in his arms. Lily was happiest when she was with both Harry and him or when they constantly went out to Diagon Alley. It was rare to have a simple night in with Lily. He hated large groups of people, he tended to drag his feet on their nights out.

It was late in the night when he decided to retire to his room. As he walked through the halls he heard giggles. He followed the sound expecting to find students breaking their curfew. However, his heart stopped when he turned the corner. Sirius had you pushed against the wall, making out with you and whispering sweet nothings. You were smiling, giggling, and asking for more. Severus left quickly, his pace picking up when he felt panic filling his stomach. A memory then flashed through his mind:

"Severus... Severus wake up sweetheart. I made breakfast, all your favorites." You giggled, kissing his eyelids.

"Must you wake me up this early on the weekend?" He groaned.

"Okay grumpy, we have a lot to do today and before things get hectic I want to spend some quality time with you." You brushed his hair away from his face, slowly kissing him.

Severus smiled through the kiss and picked you up, causing you to straddle his waist. "Grumpy am I? I highly doubt you truly believe that, especially since I can have you moaning my name in seconds."

"I wish I could tell you you're wrong," You bit your lip and lowered his boxers...

The two of you shared many mornings like that. You both took great care of each other, everything from making a cup of tea to your long nights of lovemaking. His eyebrows furrowed as he slid down the wall panting, his panic escalating.

"What have I done?" He whispered.