I'll Go On

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You left your classroom to go pick up your daughter. As you made your way to Hagrid's, your mind was running rampant. That kiss, your words, and the feel of his hand. You were in trouble but then you thought about Sirius, the man who saved you when you never thought you'd love again. Your husband, the father of your child was your best friend and someone you have loved dearly. What you had with Sirius was something special as well. Hopefully, you didn't just ruin everything.

Sirius was pacing inside of Dumbledore's office, wondering what Severus might have said to you. He knew that Severus still had a hold on you, he knew that your Amortentia smelled like Severus at times. It would break his heart but he loved you more than life itself, he wanted you in his life even if he wasn't your first choice. However, he also knew that your heart belonged to him, Severus wasn't your husband, Sirius was.

Meanwhile, Severus apparated home to Lily. He calmed down after talking to you, touching you. Lily had been somewhat oblivious to your relations with Severus. She knew that you had dated him for a little while but she never cared enough to look into it.

Lily looked up from her magazine, "Sev, you're home early. What a nice surprise! I was thinking about renovating the kitchen, don't you think that would be nice? We could have our friends-"

"Lily... the war is about to begin. I can't lose you again. My love, you must go away for a while. I don't w-want you to die. Not again." Severus kneeled down, holding on to Lily's knees.

"A-are you certain?" Lily's eyes went wide, "you'll protect, Harry. Won't you?"

"Of course, if it's the last thing I do." He raised his head up and kissed her.

_______________

You returned to your quarters with Y/d/n and waited. You waited for Sirius to come home so you could discuss your options. Your stomach was turning, looking down at your little girl hoping that everything would be alright.

An hour and a half later Sirius came walking through the front door. You were still in your same position, sitting with your daughter in your lap and looking off into space. Sirius sat next to you, directing your face to him.

"Sweetheart, what are you thinking?"

The moment you looked into his eyes you began to wail, "please tell me you're not fighting, Sirius. Please tell me you are going to stay with us and we'll find safety."

"I have to fight... Harry is my godson."

"And Y/d/n is your daughter! I am your wife! Please, that boy has what it takes, he can do this without you." You began to whisper as your daughter detected your tense emotions.

"I can't explain it but this is what Lily and James instructed me to do should this day arise. Y-you, my girls, will go to the muggle world. I'll come to get you as soon as the fight is over. We'll be together again." Sirius put his forehead on yours.

You put your daughter down as your vision went blurry. Your breathing was heavy, you felt like you could puke.

"Y/n, darling?"

You used all the breath you could, "L-Lily? A-and James? Really, REALLY? You're choosing to fight this battle for them? For her? Sirius... I'm not losing you. She can not do this to my heart again, do you understand me? If you're staying, so am I!"

"Don't be ridiculous! What about Y/d/n!?! What would you suggest we do if you stay? Hmm? A-and what i-if you get injured or worse?" Sirius went into a panic going through all of the scenarios.

"She'll go to the muggle world with my mother. Sirius, if you think I'm leaving you, losing you, you're utterly wrong." You went into your bedroom, slamming the door.

"You have no reason to stay!" He shouted.

You came out of the bedroom crying. "Don't you get it? You are my reason! I'd stay to be by your side, ready to protect you at all costs. I am not leaving you behind!"

You went back and forth with each other all through the night. Arguing, planning, kissing, and then arguing again. At some point you both fell asleep, tangled in each other's arms.

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