"So how long have I been out?" I ask Jenny and she sits down on my medical bed.
She shrugs, "I don't know. Maybe like 5 hours or so?" You didn't miss much." she informs me and I smile.
"And Ricky? What happened to him?" I ask. It's not that I want him to have been sent to the Disturbed Ward but I just want it to exist you know? Like how Jamie used to want letters from Hogwarts. She never wanted to really be a witch, she liked her life, she just wanted it to exist.
My favorite psychiatrist, Doctor Quinn, once told me that I am a lot like that. I want and don't want things right into existence. But I've never produced whole wards. She called them daydreams and daymares 'cause it's like when I sleep and have dreams or nightmares except I'm wide awake. I told her it's worse 'cause you can't just wake up and lots of times you can feel what you see. Like last month when I was cooking a corn dog at home in the kitchen and the house caught on fire. Through the thick smoke a man made completely of flame chased me around until I was burning alive. I swear, I felt my flesh melting away in fat drops but they told me there wasn't even a fire.
"Oh Ricky? He's fine. They gave him a nice shot and a little green pill and he calmed down. He's supposed to apologize to you I think." Jenny fills me in. I nod I'm not disappointed. Just because the Disturbed Ward isn't here doesn't mean there's nothing wrong with this place. I turn me attention to her pale little hand sitting on the bed next to her. I just want to hold it. Not because it's the most gorgeous thing ever. In fact I find hands very odd looking. No, I want to hold that hand just because it's hers. Just because sometimes that little shock it gives me is the kind you crave. Like when you're jumping on a trampoline in your socks and you accidentally hit one of them metal poles. I don't know why but I always found that shock like an adrenaline rush. It wasn't my favorite feeling but it was addicting. That's how it is holding Jenny's hand. That's how it was holding Jamie's hand. I can't say it was relaxing. It wasn't. But it was a feeling I wanted to feel again and again, even if I was never truly comfortable with it.
"So, should we go see him then?" I ask.
"I mean we can, but doesn't your head hurt?" Jenny asks. She seems worried which just makes me beam on the inside. These past couple months nobody has been worried about me at all. Everybody was worrying about what I did. Everybody was worrying about Jamie. Nobody cared about me other than to convict me in court and send me away.
"Nah." I say waving her off and just because I'm thinking of it, "Have you ever been to court?" I ask as I get out of bed and we leave the hospital wing.
She says no but I think my question weirds her out so I drop it. Them court rooms are scary though. They're set up like church, two rows of benches and even a bible. Actually it's a lot like church. I mean they say church is a place where you should be comfortable but to me it might as well be court. You got to wear a suit for one. But I thought churches weren't supposed to be judgmental. In truth that's all they are is judgmental. You have your minister who's your main judge and then your jury of regular attenders. The only difference between the two is that in court nobody smiles at you. Not even them fake smiles that those ladies give you for not attending church last Sunday. Nope. Boy, wouldn't those ladies have a fit if they knew what I'd done."You're going straight to hell." they'd say. Of course they'd be right, the cloaked monster tells me all the time.
"Hmm, maybe now isn't the best time to visit Ricky." Jenny says suggestively. I snap out of my thoughts and follow her eyes to the corner of the day room. Past all the kids playing monopoly and cards sits Ricky on the floor. His knees are to his chest and his head rests between them. He's rocking back and forth and mouthing soundless words to himself.
"Yeah, I think I'll take your word on Ricky from now on." I say with a nod.
Jenny smiles wide, "You know what Ethan? I don't think you're all that crazy." She says and starts leading me to a group of kids who are about to start a game of monopoly. I follow silently thinking to myself...
If Jenny knew the truth, would she judge me too?
Author's Note!
Hey everyone! I'm sorry this chapter is so short but I'm tired and I just need to take a break! Hope you liked it!!!!
Love
~TEM
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One Flew INTO The Cuckoos Nest
Подростковая литератураEthan Cross has been crazy for quite a while, but his parents were in denial. After his most recent and devastating act out though, they really had no choice. Ethan Cross is 16 years old and is sent to a mental hospital called Brain's Band-Aid. Of...
