One Flew INTO The Cuckoos Nest

Chapter Fifteen

The halls of this place have never seemed so long. I keep glancing up as my feet fly over the tiles but I feel like the girls bathroom is miles away. And it is cold. So cold. Maybe it's because I'm only in my boxers, or maybe my sweat has ran cold, or maybe it is just plain dread. I dread the sights I may see.

My airway is swollen shut as I gulp down goose egg sized worry lumps in my throat. Even without my dry tongue and lack r breath I wouldn't call out to her. I don't want her making any rash decisions. Lord knows what decisions she's already made...

After what feels like hours but was only mere seconds pass I make it to the door. I look up at the large pink circle head sitting on its triangle body and, even though it feels like I am entering forbidden lands, I burst through.

Jenny sits on the counter next to a pile of half the pills I had stored and a half drank glass of water. I pray to go that her choking it from swallowing funny and not the medicine kicking in.

Every inch of me screams with adrenaline as I rush to her side, pull her from the counter, and jam my fist into her stomach and up. Immediately she starts coughing up pills and a sickly yellow vomit and I rush her to a toilet. I hold back her hair as I do what I have to. I continuously jab my fingers into the back of her throat wondering if she'll hate me for it when I'm done. The chunky substance of newly dissolved pills fills the clean white bowl and I pray that I've cleaned out the last of them as I flush the toilet and carry her, limp but awake, back to the sink.

I brush the pills to the side and hand her the glass of water. She gulps it down greedily as I rub her back as lovingly as I can. The adrenaline is dying and now the tears are forming in my eyes. "Jenny what in the hell were you doing?" I yell at her, unable to control my anger.

She looks up from her now empty glass with large broken eyes, "I just want to be better." she whimpers.

"You could have died!" I shout.

"I just want out. I want out. I want to be normal... I just want out." she mumbles her body shaking violently. I feel bad for yelling but it's just a human reaction. Who wouldn't yell.

I glance at the various pills on the counter and give them a sickly look. I knew they were trouble. Pills. Pills that they give you to make you better. Yet, they make the person feel even crazier. Then they give them more. They think they're crazier. Soon they don't believe they'll ever be better without hundreds of pills. Addiction. Overdose. That's what is happening to Jenny.

Finally I turn back to Jenny with a more epithetical look, "You need to get rid of all these pills." I tell her.

She shakes her head no, a terrified expression consuming her face, "I need them."

"No Jenny, listen to me. You don't need them."

"They'll make me normal. They'll set me free. I need them."

"Normal?" I ask shaking my head, "No, no, no Jenny. You don't need to be normal. You're beautiful and you are perfect. Those pills are the reason you're still there." She looks at the floor, tears streaking her beautiful face like the cool glass of a window pane in a storm. "Look... You get rid of the pills and I'll do anything you want." I add desperately.

I watch the emotions sweep through her like great waves until I see the smile of the girl I fell in love with to begin with, "You have to burn you book." she says.

Shock consumes me. Ever since the day I bought it I've never left that book anywhere. Hell, I take it in the bathroom with me when I shower! My book...?

"Done." I finally say even though it agonizes me. Jenny is more important than any book... At least that's what my heart tells me.

I get my book and she flushes her pills and I rip up the pages and throw them in the trash. She smiles, "Thank you." she says.

I nod and find myself leaning toward her but she pushes me away.

"Ethan, I'm with Ryan, you know that!" she scolds me.

"And does Ryan know about this? Does Ryan even know you? Why the hell is Ryan so important anyway!" I shot and she cringes but before I can continue the door is flung open and a scared looking nurse rushes in.

"What's going on in here?" she exclaims look from me to Jenny and back.

It is silent for a moment and the Jenny speaks, "Nothing nurse, I was just sick and Ethan heard and came to hold my hair." she explains. The nurse nods seeming to find this acceptable enough and sends us off to bed.

Conflicting emotions keep me up the rest of the night.