Emotional Rainbow

Squad Goals

I'm sitting off to the side with my head in my hands. I just can't get the image of Shitty Hair's dead body out of my head. I hear footsteps coming towards me but don't even bother to look up. I can't take much more of this shit.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and then hear Sero's voice. "How ya holdin up, man?"

"Shit," was my only reply.

"So, should I say thanks for seeing me dead?" Another voice says.

I snap my head up to see Shinsou looking at me. "What the fuck?"

"How about, I'm glad you think I died? Would that be better?" He has a small smirk on his face and I realize he's just fucking with me.

"Asshole." I mumble.

"I know," he chuckles, "but it got you out of your head for a moment."

I just nod, as I don't trust my voice at the moment. First the quirk, then this training. I am so done with these dam feelings right now.

We were the first group done so we have to sit and wait for everyone else to finish. The teachers are currently watching the monitors of the the other groups to supervise their progress. At this point I don't fucking care how they're doing. I want this day to be over with. Ponytail and Karate tail are talking about the mission and how hard it was to fight someone when what they were seeing wasn't real.

They have no idea. Only Shinsou and I had to see the bodies. I made sure that the others didn't have to face what I did. As this thought pops in my head I start to wonder, is that a sign of strength or a sign of weakness. I honestly felt weak while out on the field but protecting the others from the scene, I guess, would be a strength. Maybe that's what Aizawa meant about needing emotions to be a hero.

I shake my head and turn to Sero and Shinsou. "Just cause you fuckers know how I feel doesn't mean I'm going to be nicer or stop bitching about you."

They both laugh a little and Sero says, "Wouldn't have it any other way, man." Shinsou nods in agreement.

We hear some noise off to our right and I glance up to see another group walking towards us. I really didn't pay attention to who was in the other groups, so when I first see Iida, I don't realize that it's Shitty Hair's group. Then I see him, he's looking to his left and after I see his mouth move, he throws his head back to laugh at whatever he just said. What a dork.

It takes everything in me not to jump up and run to him. I can see him and I can hear him, but it still doesn't seem real yet. I can still feel his dead body in arms. I know it was fake but it felt so real. For now, I  just sit here and stare at him.

As if he can feel my stare, he looks around and when our eyes meet, his whole face lights up from his goofy grin. "Hey Bakubro!" He hollers out and jogs in my direction. As he gets closer, his grin starts to fade. "Are you ok, bro?" He says as he stops right in front of me.

I look up and stare into his eyes so filled with concern for me and I can't take it anymore. I stand up and grab him in a crushing hug. I have to feel him breathing so I know he's real. I don't say anything, I just hold onto him.

"You ok, man?" He quietly says without letting go of me.

I don't reply but I hear Sero say, "We got the villain that makes you see some messed up shit. He saw the worst of it."

I'm thankful that Sero spoke up but also grateful that he didn't go into detail right now.

I pull away and look around. More groups have finished up and the area is filling up with our classmates. I can't let the others see me like this. "Tell Aizawa I went back to my room. He can yell at me later. I just can't be here anymore." I turn to walk away before any more of these fucking tears fall down my face. I ignore my name being called and I take off running. When I know I'm far enough away I blast myself forward. I just have to get away.

Once I'm in my room, I start to relax a little. I had dropped off my hero costume before getting here and now I've changed into some sweats and a tank top. I'm laying on my bed staring at the ceiling. He's alive. They all are. It wasn't real. I just keep repeating those three sentences in my head over and over.

After what feels like the hundredth time of those lines going through my head, my thoughts are interrupted by the pinging of my phone. I look down to see the group chat going off.

Alien Queen: Squad assemble in my room in 15 minutes.

Pikachu: Ok, me and Toshi will be there.

Rock boi: sure thing :)

Spider-Man: I'll be there

Bass Babe: K

Rock boi: I'll check on Blasty to make sure he comes.

Blasty: I'll be there.

Rock boi: Yeah :)

I roll my eyes and get off my bed. I don't want to leave my room but I kind of need to see them all. Man that vision really fucked with my head.

I start out of my room and Shitty Hair is coming out of his room at the same time. I nod at him, stuff my hands in my pockets, and turn to walk down the hallway. He comes up next to me and throws his arm over my shoulder like usual. I sigh. I actually fucking sighed.

He doesn't say anything, but I can feel him turn his head to look at me. I don't respond. We continue on to Mina's room in silence. Once we get to her room, Shitty Hair knocks and it opens almost immediately to a smiling Mina.

"Come on in boys." She beckons us in with a sweeping arm movement. "Everybody else is already here."

We take a few steps into the room and I look up at the others. Before I can do or say anything, I'm in the middle of a giant group hug. It's all I can do to not break down right there. I just let them hold me. I can hear them saying words of comfort.

"It's ok." from Jiro, "We love ya man!" from Denki, "It'll be ok." from Mina.

After a couple of minutes we start to pull away from each other. "Sero and Shinsou told us what happened." Shitty Hair says. "Man, that must have sucked. I don't know what I would have done if I had to see all of you like that." He's standing close enough to me still that I feel him shudder at the thought.

"I know, right," Mina says. "I don't know what I'd do without you guys. I mean, we are squad goals!"

I shrug my shoulders and kind of huff out a small laugh. I look around the room at each of them. Man, they may be idiots, but they're my idiots.