Heaven Sent

Happiness From Honesty

   Lou couldn't sleep. His mind was racing, and he was a little hurt that Chris did not want to sleep with him. He pulled his phone out to text Liam.
       'Hey, are you still up?'
       'Was just getting into bed. What's up?'
       'He didn't ask me to come up to his apartment.'
        'Want to come sleep up here?'
       'Is the offer to watch the kids still open?'
       'Always. Bring them up and don't forget their beds even though they always end up in mine anyway.'
       'See you in a minute.'
  Louis grabbed Toothless and Ludo's beds and headed up the two flights of steps to Liam's apartment. He didn't even knock, he just opened the door, and the wolves ran in and jumped on Liam.         
      "You going to go check and see if he is still up?"
      "Yeah, i have sort of gotten used to having him sleep next to me. Does that sound weird?"
      "No, not all. Go do what you have to, the kids love a sleep over at Uncle Liam's, dontcha boys?" The wolves barked back at him. Louis said his goodnights to his kids and Liam then went back down to the second floor and knocked on Christopher's apartment door. He opened it in just a tight pair of dark gray briefs and Louis had to catch his breath.
      "Lou? Hi! Everything okay? I thought i heard the wolves barking." Chris sounded concerned and confused at the same time as to why Louis was at his door.
      "They are up having a sleepover with Uncle Liam. I couldn't sleep and was wondering if you wanted to hang out a little longer with me."
      "Sure sure come on in. I was just reading and was about to make some hot tea. Would you like some? It might help you sleep."
       "That sounds really good. I would love some, thank you." Louis told him and walked into the apartment as Chris stepped aside to let him in.
   He looked around at how much Chris had put away and set up in just the few short hours he was up there today. "Place is coming along nicely i see."
     "Thank you. I was on a roll while letting dinner cook."
     "You seriously didn't have to do all that but again thank you."
     "I know it's just i just started to learn to cook and i found the recipe and it looked and sounded really good so i wanted to try it."
     "Well, it was a great choice, and you did an amazing job at it. What else are you planning?"
     "That is a secret but i will give you a clue." Chris said to him and walked over to the bookshelf. "It's in one of those books down there." He said to him and pointed to two rows of cookbooks.
     "So much for landlord gets to pick." Louis joked to him.
     "You can still. Go ahead and pick anything you want out of any of those books and i will cook it for you for dinner next time." Chris went to finish the teas and brought over and handed Louis his and sat down on the carpet with his own and began to take out a few of the cookbooks.
Lou flipped through a couple of them then stopped at a page. He read it then handed the book over to Chris wide open. Christopher started to laugh thinking Louis was kidding but he wasn't.         "Is this what you really want?" Chris asked him sincerely.
     "It is. With maybe some cut up fruit on the side."
     "Then that is what i will make you on your next surprised home cooked meal. Please act surprised when i make it though or it will ruin the whole surprise part."
     "I promise i will." Louis crossed his heart and smiled at Chris.
Chris got up and book marked the page and put it on the counter to remind him later. Then came back and sat on the carpet again with Louis.
     "What were you reading? Anything good?" Louis was trying to make conversation.
     "It's called Servants of the Twilight. Not sure yet i am only on chapter one of it."
      "I should leave and let you get back into it then." Louis said and got up to leave thinking he was interrupting his reading time and felt bad, but Chris stopped him.
     "Please don't." Chris asked, almost embarrassed by the way his comment came out. "You once asked me when we first met if i was lonely. The answer is yes. I am very lonely Lou. Leaving behind everything and everyone i ever knew and moving to a completely unknown area and not knowing a single person around me or having anyone to talk to changes you. I have never felt so alone in my life then when i sit in a hotel room with nothing to do and no one to talk to. This apartment tonight had me feeling like that and then you knocked on my door. I do not want you to go. Please stay. We do not have to do anything but sleep and talk if you want to. I think i have a deck of cards around somewhere if you want to do that. You can even just sit here with me and watch TV, but please do not go."             
   Lou's heart was breaking for him. He wanted to take all his sadness and loneliness away and if just being here with Chris did that, then that was the least he could do for him. Louis opened his arms and Chris went happily into them and just melted. He didn't know when he started to cry but he soon couldn't stop. All the sadness, bullshit, and frustration from the last months had finally broken him down and finally someone was there he trusted enough to catch him as he did. Finally, someone Chris thought actually gave a shit about him and what was happening with him.
  Louis sank to the floor with him and just held on to him. Brushing his hair away from his face he started to rock Chris slowly trying to calm him down.  He did not understand how someone, or something could be so bad that it literally broke Christopher like this. 
  Chris wanted to scream. He wanted to hit something. He wanted to break things. But he stayed right in Lou's arms and let him hold tightly onto him. He knew his actions and decisions in life had a lot to do with the situation he was in now. He could change though. He wanted to change. He didn't want to be alone anymore. He did not want to feel worthless anymore. He wanted to be loved and have someone give a fuck about him. Shit was this what Lou meant about getting older earlier? He was in paradise in Florida and living a life of luxury, but he didn't have any one to talk to about it or experience with it.  Harry telling him that he will be dead in a year scared the shit out of him and really woke him up because he knew deep in his heart, Harry was right. He didn't want to be that person anymore and he did not want Louis to know that person either. He will prove it to Harry that he can change but most importantly he will prove it to himself, and he will show Louis who he truly wants to be. 
   "I i am sorry. I didn't mean to do that." Chris got up and went to the kitchen sink and started to wash off his face. "If you want to go. You can."  
    "Do you want me to go?" Louis was confused over the sudden change in Chris.
    "No but me having a mental breakdown doesn't make me a very good host, does it?"
    "It makes you an honest one Chris and we all have our little mental breakdown moments. You are like me so much, we both worry about others being happy and making sure they have what they want or need, before making ourselves happy. I know i need to make myself happy first but seeing others happy does make me happy. So i'll tell you what you make me happy by letting me make you happy and i'll make you be happy by making me happy. Deal?"
   Chris had to think about what Louis just said to him for a moment at first because it did not make sense. Then it dawns on him that making the other happy will make each of them happy. Christopher smiled at finally figuring it out. "Deal. But are we setting guidelines and restrictions on this?" 
   "I don't know honestly. Never made this type of deal with someone before. Play it by ear?" 
   "We can do that." Chris went to hug Louis again and Lou willingly accepted him.
    "Can we go to bed now?  It's late and i am tired after mentally losing it on you." Chris asked him, yawning then taking Lou by the hand and headed towards the bedroom.
       "Good night." Chris said to Louis as he leaned in to kiss him on the cheek.
      "Good night Christopher."  Louis replied to him and wrapped his arms around him to sleep.
      "Hey Lou?"
       "Hey Chris?"
      "Thank you for staying with me." Chris told him and closed his eyes.
   Brushing his hair out of his face, Lou was listening to his shallow breaths, just watching Chris sleep for a little while then shut his own eyes and let his dreams take him away.