Heaven Sent

Letting Go of the Belief That Nothing Exists

   Louis let Liam pretty much run the meeting while he stayed in the back of the bar and just watched. Ed, Niall, Zayn, and Harry all sat at a table towards the front of the stage.
    "Hi, once again everyone. How are you all? Some are still a little hungover from Saturday i see?" Liam tried to make a joke but failed miserably. "I see a few new faces in here today and if you all wouldn't mind introducing yourselves and how you heard about our great little organization."
   The thirty or so new members all stood up one by one and introduced themselves and how they had heard about Heaven Sent. Most had heard about it from the media. They found it while looking at articles about Christopher and Liam. The rest heard about it from friends that were already members. Harry did not stand up because he did not know the next time, he would be back to attend another meeting or even help out.
   A few of the members got up to talk about what they do in the community and how they help out. They told stories of their favorite times or things that they had been a part of while helping out as well so that the new members got a better understanding of it all.
   Liam went on to email requests and suggestions. "We have a member request from Frank and Norma, for their neighbor whose husband recently passed looks like she needs help with her yard. Seems like it all got away from her and the township is threatening to fine her. Do i have any volunteers for let's say this weekend?"
    "I can bring the lawn crew by on Thursday morning and take care of everything for her." Tom, who owned a landscaping business, spoke up and offered to help out and a few others said they could come by once a week and cut the grass for her. The older couple that requested the help thanked everyone and told them they would let their neighbor know.
   Out of the corner of his eye Harry saw Louis get up, grab a bottle off the shelf behind him, and leave out of the back door. Excusing himself from the table, he got up to go after him and caught him right before he shut the wooden gate.
    "Plan on drinking that all by yourself tonight?"
   Louis stopped and thought a minute. "I thought you had a plane to catch?"
    "I do but i will not be on the same plane as Allison. I do not think that would be a good idea."
    "You're probably right." Lou stood there for a minute then spoke up. "Hey ah can i show you something."
    "Is it going to cause us to fight?" Harry really wanted a truce.
    "It might. But i think you should see it anyway." Harry walked in the gate and Louis locked it behind him.
   Louis asked him to please go sit at the kitchen table. He had to go get something. Before he sat down Harry got Louis and himself a drink and filled two shot glasses with the whiskey Lou took from the bar.
   Coming back with his laptop, Louis opened it and pulled up a folder for them to see. "I am not showing you this to make you mad, hurt your feelings, or whatever else. I just think you should see it." Before hitting play, he took down the two shots. Then sat down next to Harry.
As he did every time he watched the video, Louis put his hand to the screen. When Christoher popped up on it.
    "Hi Lou!"
    "Hi Chris!"
   Harry turned and looked at him. Louis just smiled at him and took his hand away. He didn't take his eyes off Chris as he watched the video from the lawyer again for what seemed like the thousandth time.
   Harry sat and listened to his brother warn Louis and talk to him like he was sitting across the table from him. Louis took another shot. Noticing every time Christopher said, "Hey Lou", Louis would answer him and put his hand against the screen. He got it now and when Louis took his hand down again Harry picked it up with his and gave it a little squeeze when the first video went over.
    "Wow he really did not like me anymore. Lou, he was wrong about the businesses though. Seriously." Harry tried to defend himself and wanted Louis to believe him.
    "There's one more." Louis said and poured him and Harry another shot. Again, he put his hand to the screen when Chris came on then he sat back and let Harry watch. This time when the video ended, Harry had tears in his eyes and a smile on his face. He began to just shake his head at Louis. The sadness, disappointment, anger, emptiness, and a million other things came rushing over Harry. Louis seemed to know what was going on and caught him into a hug. He let Harry cry it out on his shoulder as long as he needed to. Pulling himself together Harry got up to wash his face off in the sink. Louis came up behind him and wrapped his arms gently around his waist. Harry put his hands over his and sank into him.
    "I am sorry Louis." He told him, turning him around. "I want to be here for you. I really do."
    "Please stop saying that. All you ever do is say it. You never show me though. Show me Harry. Actually, show me."
    Harry lifted his chin and kissed him on the forehead. "I will try. I promise."
    "Hey Harry." Louis said to him.
    "Hey Louis." Harry said with a smile on his face.
   Louis looked at him strangely for a second but smiled back at him. "Please do not do that."
    "I'm sorry." He said again and thought he just made things awkward again.
    "Did you still want to see his apartment?" Lou said letting go of him and pouring out another shot.
    "I do not think Liam is done with the meeting just yet."
    "I was going to take you over."
    "Are you ready to do that yet?" Not believing Louis just asked him what he did.
    "Nope!" He said, picking the bottle up and walking to the front door. "You coming?" He turned around, took another swig as he walked out. Harry didn't even think about it. He closed the door behind them and caught up with Lou.
   Louis stuck the key in the keyhole but stopped right before he opened the door. He put his forehead against it and took a minute. Harry heard him whisper something but did not catch what it was. Taking another swig right from the bottle, Louis opened the door. He walked in and stopped in the living room and just looked around. Giving him another minute, he thought he needed Harry waited out in the hallway.
    "It might be time to start packing some of this up. Maybe you would like something of his to take back with you?"
       'Can i take you back? ' Harry bit his tongue from asking and instead came walking into the apartment to stand next to Louis. "Am i allowed to look around for a little bit?
    "Go right ahead. I will be right here if you need me." Louis said and sat down on the recliner. It was one of his favorite places to sit in Christopher's apartment. They would always sit on it together to read, watch tv, hang out with the guys, or even have sex on it. Chris had bought all of them one for their living rooms, but this one was still Lou's favorite. Ed fell in love with hi at the shop and it made it easier for him to figure out what they all wanted for Christmas this past year.
   As Lou took sips from the bottle, Harry went over and ran his fingers along the shelves and books on the bookcase. "Did he read all of these?"
    "Most of them, yeah. He loved to read and always had his nose in a book."
    "He hated to read. I can't even remember the last time i saw a real book in his hands."
   He continued to look over the bookshelf and would stop to ask Louis about the pictures Christopher had in little frames. Some Lou gave a short little description or story about. Some made him go back in time and tell Harry about the whole day the picture was taken on. The more he drank the more he talked. Harry, although he did not like how much Louis was drinking, liked how he was actually talking and opening up to him. Was he taking advantage of it all? Yes. But he did not care and will deal with the aftermath later.
    "May i?" He asked before opening any cabinet doors. Louis told him to go right ahead. Inside he found DVD's, Xbox and PlayStation games and controls. One had a box pushed all the way in the back of it. Harry was intrigued and pulled it out. He sat down on the floor and took the top of it off. Sucking in his breath as he saw what was inside then started to lift out its contents.
    "Find something good?" Louis asked and joined him on the floor to see what was in the box.
   Harry picked up a picture and showed Louis. It was two little kids on bikes with a lady behind them smiling away. "Wow, i haven't seen pictures of Ms. Ella since she passed away. I thought my parents threw them all away."
   But as Harry went through more of the contents in the box, he found more and more of them.          "He kept them all. Look, he even has pictures of us from high school." Harry was more than overwhelmed now and forgot about even wanting to look at the rest of the apartment.
   It was Harry's time now to tell Louis stories as he picked up pictures from the box to look at.           They spent hours just sitting on the floor and going through the box. Louis was no longer drinking from the bottle but hanging on every word and memory coming out of Harry's mouth. The laughing and joking became easier and easier with every photo, between the two of them.
   Louis got up and turned the lights on. He was a little drunk but not enough to lose himself over it. "I think you missed your flight." He said to Harry as he returned to the floor.
     "Yeah, i think i have. Is there a hotel nearby? We had to be out of the apartment today and all our boxes are on a moving truck somewhere headed to California."
    "Stay." Louis pretty much begged him.
    "I really can't. I have been here almost two months and things back home need to be taken care of." Harry put his hand up to his face and Lou closed his eyes and rubbed against it. "You know since you are now the other half of the company you will soon have to attend one of the meetings coming up shortly. Why not just come back with me now?" Harry thought it was a good idea. That way he could show Louis around and introduce him to everyone.
    "No." Was all Louis told him as he leaned in to kiss Harry. Only to have Harry stop him right before their lips touched.
    "I can not do that here, Lou. It would be disrespectful."
    "I think it is time to go. I have to go let the kids out and feed them." Louis got up and headed for the door.
    "Lou?" Harry stopping Louis and making him turn around to look at him. "This is all i would like of my brother's. Please can i take it." Harry picked up the box and hugged it to him, not even willing to give it up even if Lou told him no.
    "I think he would like you to have it. Yeah, go ahead and take it. Take a look around really quick though and see if anything else catches your eye. If not, we can come back tomorrow."
   Harry walked around but did not really see anything else he would like to take at the moment. "What do you plan to do with the rest of everything?"
    "I haven't thought about that yet nor do i want to talk about that yet either. Come the kids are waiting and i am starving." Louis did not give him a chance to say anything else, as he walked out of the apartment door and stood in the hallway waiting for him. Harry picked up the box and left with him.

    "Can you cook?" Louis asked Harry as he pulled a pack of hamburger out of the fridge.
    "Not a lot, no, but certain things, yes."
    "Can you brown meat and not let it burn while i feed the wolves?"
    "Yes, i can." Harry took the frying pan and spoon away from him and began to dump the hamburger into it as Louis took out the things he needed to mix together for Ludo, Toothless, and Ghost.
   Right before he took their dinner out to give it to them when it was done, he picked up his phone and texted the group chat. 'Tacos in ten minutes. If you are eating, come and get'em.' Surprisingly every one of them showed up to eat too. Even Zayn.
    "Hey Harry, what the hell are you doing here?" Laim asked him when he walked into the kitchen.
    "I missed my flight." He said to Liam as he came over to give him a hug.
    "And here i thought you left without saying goodbye."
    "I think you know me better than that by now."
    "I took him to Christopher's." Louis nonchalantly just told them.
   The guys all stopped and looked at him in disbelief.
    "Just don't. Let it go." Louis wasn't ready with answers for the apartment questions. They respected him and left it at that.
   Zayn came over to Harry and asked if they could talk. "Be right back." He told Louis and took off out front with Zayn.
    "I want to apologize for um the whole Allison thing." He ran his fingers through his hair nervously. "I did not mean for it to come out like that."
    "I should be mad but in a way you did me a favor Zayn. She's been cheating on me for years and i never really cared, but i am just fed up with all of it and her, that it does not even matter. I have no right to say anything either because of Louis."
    "Yeah, about that. If you two can't work things out, at least just try to be friends. I think one way or another he is going to need you in his life."
    "You know too?"
    "We all do. Come on dude really? It is so obvious and we've known Lou for years." Zayn couldn't believe Harry did not know that they all knew about them. "It's almost just like how he and Christopher started but with less fighting."