Memory Lane

Chapter 9.

Desiree

Wendy brought us to a cute little family-owned diner for lunch. We chose to sit outside because it was a nice day. I hadn't seen her in so long, so I was excited to know what she's been up to since I've been gone. She had changed so much, the girl I knew had become a woman, and was doing well for herself.

"So, tell me, how are things with Gemma?" she asked when the waiter left. "Oh, they're good, I mean Gemma was so nice taking me in, but..."

"Would've been nicer to come home to your own place," she said assuming the ending of my sentence.

"Yeah," I said laughing, "I've spent so much time being with other people. People I didn't even know, I just would have liked to have my own things again."

Wendy's face fell, "I'm sorry about what happened to you, Des. Jax was so broken after the accident. We all were."

I felt my throat tighten, "I was a bit of a mess myself. I remember having dreams about him, about all of you, they felt so real." I resisted the urge to cry, so I changed the subject. "So, how are things with you?"

"Um, I'm running a program in the HR department at St. Thomas. I was up in Seattle before I moved back here a couple of weeks ago. I've been clean for three years," she informed me. My eyebrows raised in surprise; Wendy never had a drug problem when I was around. I mean, she was a croweater and engaged in a lot of drugs, but she didn't necessarily have a habit.

She noticed my face and let out a strangled laugh. "Um, yeah I developed an addiction to meth for a while. I was clean on and off, but then I got pregnant...with Jax's baby." My mouth hung open; I couldn't say the news didn't shock me. Wendy and I were good friends, I never thought she had an interest in Jax. I was shocked to know they even had a kid together.

She looked apologetic, "look, it was years after your disappearance. We were just hanging out for some time as drinking buddies. To be honest, it was a fling that went on for too long. We ended up getting married and then getting divorced like a year later. He just never moved on from you and he flipped when I got pregnant."

I remained silent for a moment, trying to piece together the right words. "No, I get it, I shouldn't have expected him to just stay single. And I was "technically" unalive." I forced a smile on her face to console her, but I knew she felt bad. "So, what did you have?"

"A boy, Abel, my addiction almost killed him. He was born premature and he had so many issues. He was the one who pushed me to get clean, and now I can't even see him."

"Oh wow," I always assumed that Tara was Abel's mother. No one, not even Jax, had told me the truth. There were so many bombs being dropped on me, that I didn't know how to dodge them all. "You have any pictures of him?"

She dug into her bag and pulled out a picture. The child in the picture was a baby, "sorry, I don't have anything recent." I smiled down at the photo, "that's okay, he's beautiful. He looks so much like his dad." I handed her back the picture and we sat in silence. "So, have you asked Jax to see him?"

She scoffed, "it's no use, Jax is determined to keep me away from him. And Tara is on his side." I grimaced, "I'm sorry, I wish things weren't the way they were."

"No, it's not your fault. Everyone has to pay for their mistakes, right?" she forced a smile on her face but then it fell just as quick as it came. "Jesus, Desiree, I'm so sorry! Here I am yapping on about Abel and I didn't even think- I didn't think."

I raised up my hand, "it's okay, I think it's best that I acknowledge it more. I met with a lawyer who informed me of all the details. I was going to have a boy; I think it helps to know those little things. Y'know?"

She smiled warmly at me, "Yeah, have you thought about naming him?"

I thought about it for a minute, "honestly no, do you think I should?"

"Makes it a little more real if you do, but it's totally up to you."

I thought about it for a moment, until a name came to my mind. Jax and I talked a lot about baby names, but there was only one name that I loved most out of every single one. "Nathaniel John Teller."

"Wow, that was quick," she laughed.

I laughed with her, "Yeah, I remember that Jax and I loved that name for a boy. I secretly hoped that I did have a boy, Jax was always his father's son."

"Are you sure you don't mean momma's boy? Are we talking about the same guy here?" she laughed.

"Okay, at first glance, you would think that he's a momma's boy. But that man had John Teller coursing through his veins. I wanted him to have that with his own son one day."

Wendy shook her head and looked far off like she was reminiscing, "no one knew him like you, Des. The way you guys loved each other was so pure." 

Our conversation changed once we got our lunch. Our talks went from gloomy and depressing to upbeat and light. We talked about so many things and the memories we shared when we were young. It felt good to finally keep my 'accident' out of the conversation, and just be normal for once.

Once we were done with lunch, we continued to walk around Charming. It felt like the old days, and it was good to have someone who was just as surprised by all the little changes too.

"Oh, look a tattoo shop!" Wendy pointed to the small shop. It looked like every other little tattoo shop, decorated with gory designs and drawings on the windows. "We should go in," she urged.

"Why?"

"Oh c'mon Des, don't be such a wus."

"I'm not being a wus, I just got a job, I don't have any money," I reminded her.

"It'll be on me, think of it as an I'm sorry I married your husband gift."

"That's a wordy gift," I said sarcastically. Wendy sucked her teeth and proceeded to push me inside of the shop. There was a man at the counter with piercings on every inch of his face. He looked up from his magazine when he noticed Wendy and me. "Hi, my friend here would like a tattoo," she motioned towards me.

The man gave me a once over, "do you know what you want?" I looked over at Wendy who gave me a supportive thumbs up. The man waited patiently for my answer, "um, I would like to get a tattoo for my son, Nathaniel."

He nodded his head and pointed to the books on a table. "You can look through those for designs if you want. Just let me know when you're ready."

I nodded my head as I made my way over to the small table. The books were full of designs and pictures of tattoos he had done. His work was impressive, to say the least, but there was so much to choose from. I had to sit down and really flip through the pages. But when I finally found it, I immediately wanted it. I brought the book over to the artist and Wendy, so they can see what I chose. The artist nodded his head and proceeded to get everything ready to start.

"Nice choice," Wendy said rubbing my shoulder.

"Thanks, I think he would've liked it too."