Memory Lane

Chapter 36.

Desiree

"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to celebrate the life and death of Gemma Teller." I drew in a sharp breath as I listened to the pastor. Thomas was sitting on my lap while Abel was sitting on his father's. But just a few feet away Tara's body had already been buried. Jax didn't want to put together a funeral but he did bury her out of what little respect he had left.

The whole thing felt so surreal, no one could have predicted Tara or Gemma ending up like this. No one had any idea that things between them would get this bad. I know that Jax blames himself for what happened, it was in his nature to do so. He was probably going through every possible scenario in his head of how he could have prevented this. But the only people who could have prevented this were the ones we had buried.

"Gemma was a driving force in her family and she will live on through her son Jackson and her grandchildren Abel and Thomas Teller." I felt Jax's eyes on me when he noticed that I was nowhere to be found in the reading, but to me, my relationship with Gemma didn't have to be validated on paper. Besides, I wrote the obituary before Tara was revealed as the murderer.

"Before we send her off, does anyone have any final words that they'd like to say?" the pastor's eyes were aimed at Jax. Jax didn't bother meeting his stare and simply turned away from the offer. The pastor sighed and then went on to finish up the funeral. Everyone lined up to place red roses on her casket, roses were her favorite. I placed my thick, black sunglasses on my face as I followed Jax to the SUV. He hadn't said much this morning nor did he say much during the funeral, he was totally checked out.

"Des, wait up!" I turned around to see Wendy running to catch up to me. Jax noticed her too and then reached out to take Thomas, "I'll let you two talk," was all he said before he made his way to the car. When Wendy finally caught up to me she embraced me in a hug, "I'm so sorry Des, I know how much she meant to you."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded my head, "thanks for coming by the way." Wendy shook her head, "don't even mention it, I'm here if you need absolutely anything."

"Are you coming to the repast?" I had made an array of food for the reception. Some of the old ladies and croweaters had helped me cook up a storm. "Do you think he'll be okay with that?" she motioned over to Jax who was waiting patiently in the driver's seat.

I sighed, "I think we're going to need all the family we need right now."

"Well, on that note, yeah I'll be there," Wendy gave me a small smile before departing to her own vehicle.

When I got in the passenger seat Jax looked over at me but didn't say a word. The whole car ride was silent up until we got to Gemma's house. The women had already begun serving the guests and some were even smoking outside. There was no music playing but that didn't matter, because a gathering of family like this is what Gemma would have wanted.

Jax disappeared as soon as we got inside, leaving me with Abel and Thomas. I decided to give him the space he needed and went on to prepare a plate for Abel and Thomas. Lyla was in the kitchen and stopped what she was doing as soon as she saw me. "Hey," she said fidgeting nervously, "you need me to take care of them?" She gestured over to Abel and Thomas and I found myself standing there speechless. I tried to reply back to her but every time I opened my mouth my throat felt tight and it triggered my eyes to water.

Lyla immediately left where she was standing to embrace me in a hug. I was so overwhelmed with all of this and the overflow of helping hands I was getting made me emotional. "Why don't you go to the room to relax, I'll fix the boys something to eat," I nodded my head in agreement at her suggestion and made my way to the closest room available.

To my surprise, Jax was already occupying the room as he was laying on the bed with his eyes staring at the ceiling. He turned his attention to look at me and noticed the tears in my eyes. He outstretched his hand to me and I took it as he led me to the empty spot next to him. Our bodies molded together on the bed as our limbs became entangled.

Jax had one of his arms underneath me while the other was free to do as it pleased. His hand came up to my face, cupping it in his large hand. "I missed you," was all he said as his blue eyes bore into my brown ones. Maybe it was too soon, but my eyes went straight down to his lips. He must have noticed my staring because he tilted my chin up in order to place a tender kiss on my lips. My mind went completely blank as our lips moved in sync; we only broke apart to allow oxygen back into our lungs.

"Marry me," he said with a serious expression.

I felt my face contort in confusion and I instantly got out of his clutches. Jax's face became confused as he propped himself up as well. "Jackson, you really think that is what you should be asking right now?" Confusion didn't leave his face and I scoffed, "Jax we just buried Gemma with your former wife buried a few feet away."

"What can I say? I'm the prince of timing," he placed gentle kisses on my shoulder and I fought the urge to smile. "No, you're just a Teller who needs a new lay."

Jax's mouth dropped in shock and then closed again, "you're new?"

Now, it was my turn to be shocked and I swatted his head with a pillow. We messed around for a bit until he had me pinned down. "Marry me," he repeated.

But my concerns were the same, "Jax, what about the boys? They need time to adjust after all of this."

"Then we wait for them, but I do intend to marry you, Desiree. I'll wait another ten years if I have to," Jax's face was sincere and I couldn't help but allow him to kiss me again. The only reason we broke apart was when Abel walked into the room with his brother Thomas tailing behind him. I smiled when I saw them and held my arms out to hoist them up on the bed.

Abel and Thomas found their spot between us and Jax grabbed the remote on the drawers and turned on the Tv. He skimmed the channels before he found their favorite cartoons and we all just watched Tv while we closed ourselves off from the rest of the world.