tw - this kind of turned into a bit of a rant, long story short i'm gonna be gone for a bit and i'm sorry.
i'm so sorry but i'm going on break again, i apologize but shits happening in my life. there's a lot of family drama that's been going on for a while and it's super draining, based on the last time my father was hospitalized. and a few days ago he was brought into the ER, and we don't know if he's going to survive. my relationship with him (or lack there of) was already taking a lot out of me and now this. i don't know if i can do this again. on top of all this my own medical stuff has been kicking my ass and no one is fucking listening to me when i say something is wrong. i'm in pain 24/7 and no cares, i can barely walk but my mother just laughs it off because she thinks i'm being dramatic. and my doctors are back at it with the gaslighting. the only thing keeping me alive at this point is my girlfriend, and the only friend who doesn't ignore me lmao. oh and i'm getting screened for cancer soon which is very anxiety inducing lol. so uh i'm sorry for ranting and pushing my problems on y'all, i just want to explain why i keep disappearing. i appreciate that no one's really gotten angry and thank you for not pressuring me to post. i love you, please stay safe. your not alone here and i want my appreciation for you to be known. thank you <3
and also i've meaning to mention this for a while but my preferred name and stuff has changed. i'm still fine with arist but i prefer nicola, nico is fine as well :) and my pronouns change but please don't use she/her unless i state otherwise. once again, love you all <333
