The Reluctant Mate

22 Porter

"I know you're not going to tell anyone, and you already know too much, what's a bit more?" I asked, trying to be nonchalant. She was right, I probably shouldn't have been telling her so much when she was still insistent on leaving me. I only had a few more days with my mate before they returned from the assembly and my luna told my mate how to reject me.

The lightness of my mood turned to lead and dropped in my stomach. How was I going to cope once she was gone?

Maybe I should just tell her myself, if that was what she really wanted. My wolf whined in the back of my head at the thought, and I couldn't bring myself to form the words as we walked around the scattering of trailers and tents and buildings in various stages of completion.

Even the buildings that were serviceable didn't have any of the bells and whistles that would finish them off. We were trying to get as much of the basic structures built as we could before the rainy season so that none of our pack would have to sleep outside unless they wanted to. Could never tell with former rogues, a lot of them seemed to prefer roughing it.

"So, what's the big secret with werewolves, anyway? Why's this Alpha Assembly thing so against us humans knowing about you? If humans knew there'd be tons of women lining up to see if they could have a werewolf soul mate, you have no idea."

"You think humans want werewolves for soul mates?" That wasn't what I discovered in my limited experience with my own or heard anecdotally.

"Some, definitely. Doesn't hurt that you all look like you belong in Chippendales."

I wished she would prefer me to all others the way that I would always choose her. If humans wanted soul mates, then why didn't mine? Again I wondered who had hurt her. My wolf wanted to kill whoever would dare harm my mate, doubly so now that it made her so reluctant when it came to us.

I wished I had found her before the restraining order asshole so I could keep him away from her. What had she been like before she had lost her ability to trust? Maybe after she rejected me—my wolf whimpered at the thought and my throat constricted—I could go hunt him down and murder him. I could make it look like an animal attack and the human authorities would never be the wiser... The Alpha Assembly wouldn't even notice the death of some human...

Although if the hunters found out, it would be a problem. Glenshadow did not need that sort of trouble. I pushed aside my selfish fantasies of revenge on that unknown human. How could he have treated Amanda in any way other than the devotion she clearly deserved?

It would have killed me if I had found her happily mated to some human, but even that would have been better than the damage he had inflicted on her.

Her voice pulled me out of my dark thoughts. "Uh, so, what's this place?" she asked, pointing to the largest semi-complete building. The outer walls were covered in bare house wrap, and while there were doors and windows, there were no frames installed yet. The floors were still just uncovered wood. But it was brimming with potential, just like our pack was.

"It's the dining hall where the pack gathers for meals if they choose. Cheaper to feed people when we buy in bulk and the food's been better since the luna took over. Want to see inside?"

"Sure," she said. I showed her the rows of tables and benches inside, which a few pack members scattered around. I mind linked anyone who looked at us to play it cool. They all knew that she was my mate and that things weren't going well on that front. The pity kind of sucked, but it was good for my wolf to have the pack to fall back on.

I took her back to the kitchen. "It's been getting a bit more crowded at meal times lately, but we're not worried about that. The plan's to build a connected larger hall when we need it, and to renovate this into a larger kitchen. We've already got the wiring set up to handle heavy duty tasks like that when we need it."

"You really have this all planned out."

I grinned a bit. "Well, I did some construction at our original pack, and then Jason, Max and I worked together for a while before we started our own company. We made Kain go to school and he was pissed off about that because he's always wanted to be a part of whatever we were doing since we've been rogue." The memory of Kain's irritation still amused me. Annoying the kid was it's own form of entertainment.

"He must be in high school now?"

"Now that we've got a pack Krystal is homeschooling him. I don't think you've met her yet."

She raised her eyebrows to shoot me a very unimpressed expression. "Nope, it's just pretty much just been you, Carrie, Lee, and Nash."

The way she said Nash's name caught my attention. "Don't like Nash?"

She shrugged. "He creeps me out. And they did threaten he might kill me or abduct people I care about when they made me—"

"They did what?" I asked, my wolf instantly seeing red.

"It's no big deal." She shrugged. "In retrospect I think it was a bluff. Maybe."

"Nash and Lee said that when they got you to call?" I wanted confirmation.

She stepped back away from me, which agitated my wolf more. "Yeah. Lee and Nash. Mostly Nash."

"I'm going to kill them both. They weren't suppose to harm you." I took a step towards the door, and then remembered that neither of them were on territory. I gritted my teeth, and then realized she had put more distance between us and was watching me warily. She wasn't the only one, I was getting attention from the few people inside as well.

I stepped back towards her, and she didn't look happy about it.

"Amanda, I'm not going to hurt you."

She shrugged. "Okay."

My wolf whimpered and his rage disappeared. "Please."

"I'm tired so I think I should go back now."

She was shutting me out. I'd fucked up again. "I wasn't serious. I was just angry."

If anything, my explanation only seemed to make her frostier. I tried not to let my despair show as I took her back to my home.

Things didn't get better for me the next couple of days, although Carrie had called us and let us know the good news that Bluegorge's allegations against us had failed. Her excitement was obvious, and I would have been just as ecstatic except that the moment I would lose Amanda forever was so quickly approaching.