The Reluctant Mate

29 Porter

The movie was almost on, and Amanda was talking about cats, and I had even less of an idea what she was thinking than normal, which wasn't a very high bar. Fifteen cats seemed a bit excessive, but if it made Amanda happy to live with me eventually I'd tolerate as many cats as she wanted. Maybe she'd let me build an outdoor cat enclosure for them. She could point to whatever she liked on Pinterest and I'd make it happen. I was getting way ahead of myself.

I kept my eyes trained on the screen, but I was hyperaware of her sitting beside me. How could I not be? I could hear her breathing, maybe a bit fast, but still even. Her scent wandered towards my nose, and it was driving my wolf wild. It didn't help that I had such clear memories of having my hands on her when I was trying to keep them to myself.

If she wanted to go slow, that was fine with me, as long as we were going. It was a good idea anyway, it had been a strategic mistake to fall into bed with her so quickly, and I was not about to repeat it. Even if she did want to, I'd be smart to resist to the best of my ability. My wolf instincts disagreed, but when had following those ever benefited me with Amanda?

No point thinking about what couldn't be changed. What could I do now? Could I put my arm around her, or was that too fast for her? There was that stereotypical stretch and casual reach of the arm. Come on, Porter, she'll think you're an idiot if you try that.

Or I could hold her hand, but was that too much? She'd complained I was too intense. Was that intense? It felt like nothing to me especially compared to what we'd already done, but then again I was a werewolf and she was a human.

It didn't feel like enough for me, especially when I had clear memories of the feel of the shape of her breasts in my hands and the feel of her under me, but I was going to pretend I didn't know that, even though I couldn't forget it.

I would make no progress towards winning sober Amanda over if I didn't try. Her hand was sitting on the side, and I put mine in hers. She glanced at me nervously but didn't pull away. I relaxed a bit at the small success and released the breath I hadn't known I was holding, as I intertwined her delicate fingers with mine.

I watched the beginning of the movie, which opened in an epic car chase. The main character was a spy and had a bunch of awesome but slightly unrealistic equipment but it wouldn't have been hard for me to suspend disbelief if I could have focused, but my attention kept flicking to her hand in mine, and how beautiful she was, and how satisfied my wolf felt with the contact between us after such a long period of lack.

It was hard to care about epic battles when I was beside what I most wanted in reality.

Still, the movie was pretty enjoyable. The spy had a hot redhead as a love interest, and since she reminded me slightly of Amanda I couldn't help but hope the two would get together. Of course, the actress paled in comparison to my mate. It wasn't that other women were less attractive now, but more like she changed the entire scale by entering my life. Other women were like pretty pictures while she was a sexy living, breathing dream who I wanted to spend the rest of forever with.

Of course that might be too intense, too, so I'd have to keep my mouth shut on that until she was more comfortable with me. She already knew if she put together everything she had been told about mates, but it was one thing hearing the idea, or seeing the example of other mates and another experiencing it. After all, I had grown up surrounded by those happy mated couples, but even that was no preparation for the feeling of having mine here with me. How could someone understand just by hearing or seeing what it feels like to come into contact with electricity? It was the same with the bond. I had known that it would be good, but just how good had been beyond my imagination.

I didn't have to think much while they spy broke into a foreign adversary's nuclear facility. I glanced at Amanda, and I caught her glancing over at me. Once she realized I noticed, she turned her head away. I smiled and squeezed her hand just a bit. She didn't pull away.

Small successes should build towards getting her where I wanted her to be. The foundation was the first step of building, and this time I was going to build it right.

After the movie I tried to convince her to spend more time with me, but she was adamant that she wanted to get home to bed. A small dark part of me worried that her intention wasn't to go home and sleep but instead to go out and find some random guy to sleep with, but I pushed the thought away. She'd agreed to my one term and I was going to trust her. I hoped that the bond made other men as uninteresting to her as it had made other females to me.

My wolf whined in the back of my head as we pulled up to her home. We didn't like leaving her there, she'd be so much safer back with my pack. There wasn't a supernatural creature that couldn't get through the flimsy door of her house if it wanted to do her harm. She might be just a human and they were mostly left alone, but her connection to a pack might make here more interesting than the others. I didn't want my mate to stand out more than she already did.

She inspected my face. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"Uh huh."

"Really?" her eyes narrowed.

"I just worry about leaving you undefended."

"From what?"

"Probably from nothing. I'm most likely paranoid." Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

"I get that. I sometimes get a feeling like I'm being watched," she admitted and my heart sped up along with my concern, "but it's never anything to worry about. I think lots of people feel that way. It doesn't mean anything."

"You're probably right."

She leaned forward, and her sweet scent grew stronger as the distance between us decreased. Her lips met mine and I was more than ready to kiss her, it had been way too long since I'd had the pleasure of my mate's lips against mine, and I had feared I never would have that again. But she was here, soft and real.

For the first time in months I wasn't just dreaming.