The Reluctant Mate

19 Porter

I had spent almost the entire time my mate was with the pack sitting outside, guarding her. I could hear what she was doing inside, some of the time. Rummaging, crashing, pacing. The worst was when she was crying. I wanted to comfort her, but every time I went inside she yelled at me. She'd tried opening windows a couple of times, probably with the intent of trying to escape and when I'd circled to stop her I'd received looks that were nearly deadly.

The only person who had managed to get in and out unassaulted when she was awake was Kain, and after he'd gotten what he'd wanted he'd stayed far away from the situation, preferring to train, or work on his lessons, or babysit, or any chore that gave him an excuse not to go home. There was no way that I would want to deal with this if it wasn't my problem, either, so that made perfect sense to me. My mate was my problem.

Lee had been taking her food periodically. She usually didn't attack or yell at him, either. I envied him even though he hadn't entirely escaped her wrath either. She was furious with him almost as much as me. If she did speak to him, it was short and bitter.

At this moment, Amanda was watching some baking competition. I could hear the judges talking to the contestants. I didn't care about the show, but I would have loved to be inside there with her. Not even touching her, just breathing the same air without being screamed at would be more than enough for me, and even the not being screamed at part was negotiable. I leaned back against the door of the trailer with my eyes shut and breathed, trying to find peace where there was none.

A couple pairs of footsteps in the gravel came towards me. I looked up to see Carrie and Lee.

Carrie shot me a sympathetic look.

"The stories about human mates were never this bad, were they?"

She smiled, a half-hearted attempt at encouragement. "I'm sure it wasn't easy for them either at the time. I'm going to try talking to her again."

I nodded. I wondered what Amanda would throw at my luna this time. My wolf was torn between wanting to protect her and wanting her to help bring his mate around.

Lee went inside first. I heard Lee say that Carrie was going to talk to her, then the television switch off, and then finally our luna went inside and Carrie started talking, my mate remaining furiously silent, until Carrie dropped the bombshell that she might be pregnant. I wasn't surprised at the idea, since Randy and I had run the pack during her heat.

"Fine. It's not your maybe baby's fault." I wondered, for the briefest second, how my mate felt about children, before the reality of the situation slammed me hard and brought me back to earth again.

My luna explained mates to my mate—something I should have been the one to do if things had gone differently, and then, of course, Amanda told Carrie she wasn't interested in having a mate. It wasn't surprising since she had made herself abundantly clear, but it was still painful.

Her voice was so cold. "Listen, you are not going to convince me to be some forced bride to some misogynistic werewolf cult. I've dealt with this sort of bullshit before—to a much less insane degree—and I am not going to fall into this again. I'm never going to just go along with what any of you want for me. You can keep me there forever, and if he tries to hurt me, I'll do everything in my power to kill him myself."

My wolf whimpered that she thought we would hurt her, even though it was my fault she was thinking that way. They kept talking, while I sunk deeper into my gloom.

"So what if I promise to keep my mouth shut?" Amanda asked hopefully. "What? I can keep a secret."

"This from the girl who told me about every conquest the day after she went out during our breaks."

My growl was involuntary as I remembered the guy at the bar. How many males had she slept with since I last saw her? My chest ached.

"Shut it, Porter! What she does is none of your business unless she decides that it is," Carrie's voice came clearly through the walls.

"Yes, Luna." I propped my head in my hands and tried to keep myself together. I shouldn't even have been torturing myself here, but if this was as close to her as I could get, it was where my wolf wanted to be. I'd missed her, even her anger, if that was all I could get. I stayed, and I listened, as Carrie explained our world to my mate, and that she would tell her how to reject me if that was what she really wanted. I dreaded it, because I knew that she would do it.

"I sort of understand where you're coming from, but maybe Porter should have said something, if he really believes I'm his whatever-he-thinks. Was he just going to lie to me forever?"

"I'm sure he would have told you himself once he thought it wouldn't scare you off."

"Hey, can I see you shift?"

"Could you show her?" Carrie asked Lee, since he was the only one in there with them.

The image of Lee stripping off his clothes to demonstrate shifting threw my wolf into a panic. I slammed the door open. "I'll do it. I don't want you to see him naked."

She scowled at me, her anger exploding in her eyes. "You can't freaking control me, asshole! If I want to look at a naked werewolf, I'm going to look at a naked werewolf and I don't need your permission!"

"She's right. Stand down, Beta." Carrie said as she walked to the door, throwing me another sympathetic glance on her way by.

I held out my hands to my mate. "I know, Amanda, I know. But please."

She grabbed another coffee mug like she was going to throw it, and then set it down again and crossed her arms. "No."

"Want me to leave?" Lee asked.

I kept my eyes on my mate. "Yes."

Lee took a step towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Amanda asked him sharply.

"Uh..." Lee looked conflicted and like he'd rather be anywhere else. Caught between unhappy mates was never a good position to be.

Amanda exhaled. "You know what, never mind. I don't want to see anyone shift anymore. I want to be alone."

Lee took it as his cue to leave. I followed him reluctantly.

—————

Author's Note:

I feel like every post lately is a downer. Things will get better—for a while—soon though. I swear. We're almost past the point where this story overlaps with TAOW.

On a different note, guess who burned her three middle fingers on the stove and can't type right now. (Good thing I have a buffer. 😉)