The Reluctant Mate

23 Porter

I tried my best not to let my miserable mood bring down the others. Carrie had encouraged a celebration, so I had gotten one going. I'd invited Amanda, but she had refused to come.

Other than that, I hadn't really seen her at all that day, even though my wolf ached for more contact. Instead, I buried myself in pack work, and then went to spell Krystal who had been watching the trailer this afternoon. She might as well go join the party, since it wasn't like I would do anything but bring the mood down.

When I got there, she was inside with my mate and I could hear the two of them laughing. I was jealous of how happy Amanda sounded with her.

"You can go join Michael," I said to her.

"You sure, Porter? I don't mind staying here with Amanda. We're having a pretty good time."

"I'm not getting anything out of the party either way."

"If you're sure..."

"I'm sure."

There was more talking inside, and then Krystal came out, shooting me a look of sympathy. "Probably should confess that we had our own little celebration by dipping into your booze a bit."

That was the least of my worries. "Okay."

"Good luck," she said. I could use it.

I shut the door and sat on the step outside, an ache in my chest and a sting in my eyes. I had so little time left, and the small amount of time I had wouldn't be enough to tip the balance in my favour. Whenever I thought I was making headway with her, something went wrong. I had thought she was warming up to me a bit, but then I'd gotten angry and everything had gone south.

Maybe, the bond meant nothing and we really weren't meant to be. I was a werewolf, and no matter how much control I had over my animal side, it would always be there, and it would always be something that probably reminded her of the little restraining order shit.

Maybe, before she had been hurt, she might have been able to want me back the way I wanted her. The thought ached.

Pain and anger circled through me. It hurt, and I couldn't help torturing myself with what she might have gone through. She'd never given more than hints, so I didn't know, but my imagination was happy to fill in the blanks.

Maybe, before she left, I could get his name.

And prove I was just as bad as she thought I might be, a recklessly violent monster. I stayed sitting there on the step, listening to the sound of laughter and excitement of my pack leaking out over from the dining hall mixed with what she was currently watching, all the while watching the last dim light of the sun until it completely disappeared.

The stars were hidden by clouds, and the sky looked as dark and gloomy and hopeless as I felt.

And then there was a crack of light behind me.

"Porter?"

I loved her voice. Shit, I was going to miss it. "Yeah?"

"Want to come in?" she asked.

Her wariness seemed absent, and it gave my idiotic wolf hope that he shouldn't have. I was an idiot. "Sure."

I pushed myself up, and turned towards her, and followed her inside. Her scent hit me harder the moment I was in the door than what I had been able to smell from outside, with hints of alcohol underneath. The whole place didn't smell like me and the other guys anymore, it was mostly her.

I wished it was her home as she turned around and smiled at me. She scooped up a glass off the counter and took a sip. "Feel like watching some Netflix?"