The Runaway Victor | Book II

Chapter Fourteen | Love is a strong word.

Quinn laid in her bed, staring up at the ceiling. She could feel her stomach churning, she would have been lying if she said what had happened hadn't made her feel something because it did. That was what she hated about it, she felt something- she felt angry and sad all at one. Angry because she hadn't been able to do anything, because she couldn't do anything for any of the tributes unless it helped Katniss. Sad because that was all she could do, and if she failed, she would have failed everyone who thought of Katniss as something more than a tribute.

It would have been easier to just be a tribute, she thought to herself. If she had just been a tribute she would have been able to either just die and not have to worry about all of this. None of this would have happened, Jenson would still be alive- and Snow wouldn't have it out for her. Then again, all those same reasons were the same ones that gave her something to fight for. If she would have died like the twenty-two other tributes in that arena, they would have just been getting replaced. They would mean nothing to anyone, and that was what made the games even more wrong. Those kids meant nothing after they died, they mean absolutely nothing.

But Rue meant something for Katniss. If Rue meant something to Katniss, and Katniss kept using emotions to connect with the rest of Panem- there was hope. Quinn knew that, as long as Katniss kept Panem motivated with emotion and not with pure aggression...there was hope that somehow they'd be able to work something out together to fight against the Capitol. Agression wouldn't prove that the games were wrong and Districts were treated unfairly, but raw sorrow and love could. If the rebels used it right...

Quinn could feel her mind begin to get all jumbled up and confused- confused about what she felt, wanted, and had to do. Ever since she had gotten to the Capitol, she had begun to feel her mind getting more difficult to deal with. It was like she was stuck with herself...at times she could have sworn she heard herself telling herself to think or feel a certain way but she'd only argue with herself.

My name is Quinn Maverick, she started her simple list that had slowly gotten longer. My brother died in the Hunger Games, she thought as she began to push herself up into a sitting position. My parents died in the Small Pox Epidemic, I was in the seventy-third Annual Hunger Games, I won the games.

She stopped there, letting that much of the list sink in.

Orion Snow helped me escape District Four and brought me to District Thirteen, Quinn pulled her knees up to her chest. I have family, Otto and Hadley are my aunt and uncle. I have three cousins, Quinten, Dylan, and Athennia, Quinn sighed heavily. They are safe in District Thirteen. They are completely safe in Thirteen, she repeated that to herself as if to convince herself of it. Because in all honesty, she had no idea if they were actually safe.

I made a deal with Snow to come back to the Capitol, I made a deal with Coin to help a Radical Tribute. I have to help Katniss Everdeen.

Quinn let out a long sigh and kicked the blanket's off of her and then pushed herself out of the bed. She walked up to the window of the bedroom and looked outside, the view was almost the same as her view from the District Four penthouse during the games. The buildings that were up close and far away were almost all lit up with bright colored lights, and loud music played from somewhere a few blocks away.

It wasn't too late, but it was late enough that people were beginning to turn in for the night and tune in to the games. Quinn had turned the games off for the night, late at night there was never any...excitement in the arena and Seneca Crane had even said that there wouldn't be much to do at night in the arena because he thought it would be best to save that all until there were only a few left.

Quinn was staring out the window, trying to imagine how those people could be enjoying themselves during what they called Game Season. Then again, maybe if Quinn had been a Capitol person, she'd be down there with them...if she had been brainwashed to...

The hair on the back of her neck stuck up on end at the sound of someone knocking on the door. A chill went down her spine, it couldn't have been anything good...she had visitors at night before. But not at this time. Usually just in the early evening...then again she could have been wrong. It could have just been a normal visit.

Quinn made her way quietly through the apartment, the lights from small appliances and outside casted strange shadows along the floor and walls. They reminded her of the forest in the arena, the one that she and her short-lived alliance set up camp that first night. So as soon as she got near the door, she felt for the light switch and flipped on the lights blinding herself for a second. She then pressed her eye against the small looking hole, only to see Orion standing on the other side.

He had a worried look on his face, it wasn't too noticeable but it was noticeable to Quinn.

"What?" she asked, looking at him blankly as she pulled open the door.

He looked at her and then past her, "I just...uh, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

She raised an eyebrow sharply, "Why?"

He sighed glancing around the hallway. Quinn took the hint and stepped aside, letting him inside. As soon as the door shut, he began explaining.

"What happened today in the arena, it made District Eleven start rioting." he stated, "Two peacekeepers have died, and my grandpa wants the peacekeepers to take care of it "

"Over two peacekeepers?"

He nodded.

"What does that have to do with me?"

"He still blames you." he stated, "He still isn't convinced that you're on his side."

She raised an eyebrow again, "That's old news, Orion."

"He sounded like he was done with you...I just wanted to make sure you were okay." he stated, glancing down at the ground and then turning to take a seat in her living room.

"Sure, make yourself comfortable." she huffed as she crossed her arms. "I wasn't going to bed or anything." she said sarcastically as she plopped herself down in one of the chairs.

The room fell completely quiet for a moment, the music from some party down the street was loud enough they could hear it. Sitting with Orion reminded her of their trip from Four to Thirteen, sitting in silence-- only now it was more comfortable because of nice furniture.

"If anyone should be worried about anyone, I should be worried about you." Quinn stated quietly, "I wish you didn't have to stay in the mansion."

He shrugged, "It's not too bad."

She sighed, "Yeah but anyone I care about just gets killed."

He raised an eyebrow, "I thought you had just said that to give them some drama." he reminded her.

Quinn could feel her cheeks beginning to flush red, but ever since that interview, there hadn't been one time while they were with each other that she didn't think about it.

"I wasn't lying, Orion. I can't love anyone. They'll only get hurt." she said quietly, "I can't because I do love you."