𝚍𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚢 ❀ 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚜, d.m.

₁₂. 𝚎𝚞𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚊

(your pov)

molly's birthday party turned into an awkward truth or dare game in a matter of minutes. i was beginning to regret even coming. brielle had already admitted to wanting to fuck my boyfriend so as anyone can imagine, i was no longer in a good mood.

aiden turned to draco for the next truth question, "draco! who would you like to kiss in this room?"

his blue eyes almost instinctively darted over to me and i knew exactly what he was thinking. a wave of guilt came over me. i still felt terrible for rejecting him.

"i don't know—" he responded.

"it's ivy, isn't it?" leo randomly ranted, his head in molly's lap.

i couldn't blame leo, only the alcohol. but that didn't stop the tinge of discomfort i felt. i stared from draco to aiden and sensed the awkwardness between the two.

"maybe we should start doing dares." i chimed in, hoping to save draco from the embarrassment.

"good idea!" leo called out, "ivy– i dare you to kiss draco."

my heart almost sank but at the same time, leapt. i eyed aiden, almost as if awaiting his approval. he gave me a small shrug, knowing that there wasn't much i could do about the given situation.

i got up out of my chair slowly, hoping to kill the time. i sat down in the chair next to draco and brought my face closer to his, staring down at his rosy lips. i kept my eyes glued to the ground, avoiding eye contact with him but when i finally decided to look up, his marvelous eyes met mine.

"you don't have to, diggory—" he uttered but i shut him up with a single kiss.

our lips intertwined and i could almost hear my heart thumping in my chest. butterflies swarmed my stomach. euphoria was the one word to describe it. all i wanted to do was wrap my arms around his neck and make out with him right there and then. i wanted to give in to my dirty desires. but i managed to control myself. it all felt so right but i knew how wrong it really was. so i slowly pulled away from him, biting his lower lip and then gradually letting go of it.

i stared back up at him and he stared down at me. i kept on repeating one thing in my mind: i'm not in love with him. i'm not in love with him.

he continued to stare at me with a blank expression. i couldn't discern his emotions. i didn't know how he felt. surely, draco didn't know how he made me feel. still, i got lost in his baby blue eyes, desperate for him to unveil his emotions. but all i could gather from him was his hurt and heartache. i rejected him. i made him feel that way. i broke his heart.

after the truth or dare game, everyone's energy died down and by the time it was three in the morning, mostly everyone was either passed out drunk or hidden away in their dorms. aiden ended up heading towards the boys' bathroom to smoke some weed with blaise. but i stayed in the slytherin common room, unable to stop reliving the kiss i had shared with draco.

i knew it was a crime. i was dating aiden. but the luxury of draco's lips caressing mine played in mind over and over again. and no matter how awful i thought it was, i knew that deep down inside, i lusted for another kiss from draco malfoy.

while aiden was gone, i was bored and to get that stupid kiss off of my mind, i started on a bottle of tequila i found laying around. i tried looking for leo but had no luck. i figured he was spending time with molly. so i just lazily remained on the couch until i got drunk enough to stop thinking. of course, as i was trying to forget about draco, he appeared and sat down right next to me. i wasn't drunk enough. i wanted to forget about him entirely. i wanted to forget he was sitting next to me. i took another long sip of the tequila as he sat next to me.

"are we going to talk about it?" he urged, staring at me with puppy-dog eyes.

i knew exactly what it was. but i didn't want to talk to him.

somehow, i was still sober enough to answer his question, "we don't need to."

i put the tequila bottle to my lips and was about to take another sip but his hand grasped my hand, the one holding the bottle and he slowly slipped the bottle out of my hand. he placed it on the coffee table in front of us.

"you really shouldn't drink to forget about our kiss, ivy," he instructed, "you don't want to have a blackout."

"maybe i do!" i exclaimed drunkenly while staring into his eyes.

my pupils were dilated and i felt more drowsy than i had ever felt but somehow looking into draco's starry eyes made me feel more at ease. i felt the alcohol start to kick in and began breathing slowly.

i tried to stand up, hoping i'd be able to escape to my common room but i lost my balance and fell back down on the couch, into draco's arms. i didn't try to leap out of his arms. i just stayed there, breathing at a slow pace and staring into his eyes.

"you're an angel–" i said while stroking his cheek, though i would argue that it was the alcohol that said that, not me.

"and you're a goddess." he responded, looking down at my lips.

i instantly read his mind. he wanted to kiss me again. he leaned towards me, anticipating the kiss and shut his eyes. i shut my eyes and let his lips grasp onto mine. it was a soft, gentle kiss at first but i began to feel aroused and grabbed his face firmly, shoving my tongue down his throat.

i knew i wasn't thinking logically. my judgment was poor because of the alcohol. i didn't even think about aiden while kissing draco. and secretly, i liked it that way.

before i could suffocate him with my kiss for any longer, he pulled away and looked at me, wistfully.

"you're drunk," he reminded me, "you wouldn't actually choose to kiss me."

unfortunately, he was right.

he persisted, "you should get some sleep."

he held out his wand and muttered something under his breath. all i remembered next was pink fairy-looking dust falling onto me and me passing out.