Secrets - Namjin Yoonmin Taekook

Seventeen 🤐

After receiving Tae's call, Namjoon pretty much ran up to their house. He knocks on the door, ready to see Jin. He's not sure what's going on but he wants to be there for him. Even if they're not in good terms, he's still the most important person in his life and won't let him be alone if he needs him. However, Jin had no idea about that phone call. And instead, he called someone else. The moment Namjoon knocks on the door he expects to see his ex again but instead...

- Hi, bro! Didn't know you were coming!

- Jackson?!...Y-You came here to spend the night?

- Yup! Jin called me! Wanna come in?

- I...I don't know if I should...

- Namjoon? - Jin's voice makes the other two look his way - what are you doing here?

- Uhm...Tae said... f-forget it, I see you already have someone here. I'll just go...

He turns around but a hand holds his. Excited to think Jin wants him to stay he looks back. But sadly, it's not him who stopped him.

- Stay, bro! We can all hangout together! C'mon! It'll be fun!

A part of him wants to walk away. But realizing that would mean Jin can stay with with Jackson alone is enough to make him rethink that. Staying there should be uncomfortable. But Jackson talks to him like they've been friends for years and he doesn't let any awkward silence take place. Jin cooks for all of them and the other two simply look at him while they try to make him talk. The older gives short answers for everything but it's better than nothing.

- That was fucking delicious! You have a talent for this!

- I know. Namjoon told me.

For Jin, whatever his ex said is true. He never had much confidence in his cooking until Namjoon said it was good, years ago. Actually, he didn't care about it. He just cooked, ate, moved on. But after that, he payed more attention to what he was doing and even felt proud of himself whenever he made his ex happy with his favorite food.

- Anyway! What now? Let's watch a movie! I'll wash later, Jin hyung so don't worry about that!

- Okay.

- Oh! I know this great movie I wanted to see - Namjoon talks first - It's actually a documentary, they say it's really good!

- Okay.

- Wait, why don't we let Jin choose? I really wanna know what movies he likes!

- Me?...I never choose...Are you sure?

- Yeah! It's your house so you choose

- Okay...I wanna see this one.

Namjoon gets surprised when he sees the one he chose. It's an animation. They never watched those before. But now that he thinks about it...he never let him pick a movie before. Since Jin never sounded excited about anything, Namjoon always looked for movies that would make his boyfriend smile. They press play but he can't enjoy it. He doesn't even pay attention. He just looks forward envying how easy it was for Jackson to understand his ex. How he treats him the way he should be treated.

Jin gets a call from Tae asking something about Jimin. But sadly he doesn't have the answer so the call ends rather quickly. When the movie is over, it's already late and they decide they should go to sleep. Jin's bed is barely big enough for two. So one of them should go downstairs or to another room. A part of Namjoon wants to state his own decisions. He wants to send Jackson to another room and share the bed with Jin. But another voice inside his head kicks some sense into him. He can't keep choosing for Jin.

- I'll go sleep on the couch. Jin...you can go wherever you want.

Without waiting for the answer he walks downstairs. He doesn't want to hear the moment Jin chooses to stay there even if it's obvious. Or that's what he thinks. Not even a minute later, Jin is trying to fit in next to him, even though there's not much space. He tries not to stare at him as he gets comfortable. They always slept close to each other but right now Jin is partly on top of him. And it's not like he has more space.

- I t-thought you were gonna stay there

- No.

- Jin... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for never asking you what you want or what you like or how you feel. I just assume everyone works the same way I do. I just realized...I don't even know if you ever enjoyed being close to me or if I ever crossed any limit. I don't know if my hugs ever made you uncomfortable...I-

- Stop.

Jin moves, sitting on his lap. For Namjoon, this is the prettiest view he ever saw. There's not much light in the room, except for what comes through the window. He looks so adorable even with that poker face. Jin's hands both rest on his chest and he stares straight into his eyes. It looks like he just came out of a dream.

- J-Jin?

- Your hugs make me feel safe, Joonie

- Oh...t-they do?

- Joonie, I...I know I'm different. I know some things that are obvious for others are not for me. It takes me forever to understand sarcasm and anything too subtle. I don't understand how saying a few words is a way of showing feelings. I don't like talking. Even now, I'm hating it a bit. But...I know you need to hear me. For me... cooking for you is a way of saying something. Sharing time with you. Buying your favorite drink. Letting you choose the movies. And I don't know why words work better for you to understand. But if that's the case then I'll just say it

- S-Say what?

- I love your hugs, your kisses, and you. The only physical contact I really enjoy is yours. I know this is not gonna work out but...I liked trying. Sometimes I felt like you understood what I was feeling...

- I don't know if I understood but I liked trying too. Jin, love...were you really into me before that bet?

- Yes. Since the day you hugged me after I passed the math's test.

- R-Really?! I was so in loved with you already!

- I didn't know what it was I just felt...uhmm...I don't know the word.

- Happy? Excited? Or maybe-

- Tachycardia.

Confused with the word, Namjoon doesn't know what to answer. But Jin simply moves forward, leaning on top of him. Letting himself be hugged, he enjoys the warmth Namjoon gives him. Ignoring that there's someone else upstairs with who he even had a date, he just moves his shirt up a bit, so his ex's hands can touch his skin.

- S-Sorry

- It's okay, Joonie. I always wanted you to hug me under the clothes.

Namjoon can't believe those words came out of his mouth. All this time thinking maybe Jin didn't feel anything only to then hear him say that. Yes, his tone is still relaxed, with no emotion. Just like his face. But he realizes this is still real. What they had was real. And now he would love to find a way to fix it. Because this is the first time in days he can finally sleep peacefully again.