Never Have I Ever Season 3: an alternative theory

Chapter 9: Part 3

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If his heart couldn't pound any faster, here it were beating like a thousand hooves of horses in a race...
Paxton comes after her... chases her, because he is Paxton... and he thinks he may never stop caring for Devi... even if his let himself make some not so great decisions...
He still loves her, he thinks... but why was his heart so damned confounded all the time...
If he felt what he had felt for Devi... then why had he kissed Aneesa?
To say Paxton is confused is like saying James LeBron is an ok basketball player... a serious understatement!
Something else about Paxton... his made some pretty big mistakes before... and as Ben put it... his not always so great at decision making...
He catches Devi by the wrist as she's barely two houses away from his own, and stops her there under a street light- he can see her face so clearly and it had looked so contorted with anger...
He is lucky his a great runner- because tonight, for some odd reason, Devi becomes some kind of star track runner and he could have almost lost her in the dark... the most athletic he thinks his ever seen her be before- and casting aside everything else thats happened tonight, his seriously actually impressed by her athleticism...
But Devi swings round angrily, yanking his grip away from him, furiously darting her eyes down on him.
"Fuck you, don't touch me!' she spits out.
"Devi! What the hell?! You started this, remember-"
Paxton is also clearly not good with his words either...
"I started what?" She rasps out angrily, gritting her teeth. "What did I start Paxton? Tell me." her brows shoot up as she watches him rigidly and sternly, waiting for an answer... waiting for him to take the bait, so she could take her bite back.
His brows crinkle at her as he desparately searches for the words he wants to say- but they do not come to him the way he wanted, and he doesnt know if what he says will only most likely make the situation worse?...
Devi scoffs, disappointedly, and disbelief written over her face.
"Oh I see... you want me... to give you the validity you want to give yourself to kiss other girls... is that right? Is that ok for you, Paxton?... so we can just get over this, and go back to normal and everything will be just ok?" She sing-song the last words out at him mockingly, whilst his expression morphs to a frown. But Devi continues on anyway. "Why would you say you want to try something... when all you want is to try Aneesa's mouth and clearly... just as a way to get back at me or something? Are you a psychopath?"
He rubs and scratches at the back of his head frantically, the frustration overwhelming him incredibly... pressing himself to say something, but at the same time furious at Devi's words.
"Fuck." He groans, his heart pounding incredibly heavy, deep and fast with stress. "Shit Devi, give me a minute!"
Her widened eyes dart over him, they do not only say how they were stunned at him, but also impatient... but they bleed with painful angered thoughts that are burning, and transpiercing incredibly painfully at his insides, making his stomach churn and making him even more nervous... his not use to dating seriously and this is closest thing his had to an actual argument in a relationship because he actually cared!...
Paxton can see how she breaths heavy, how at any moment she may turn away and he would be left without the chance to say anything... so he presses himself to go on...
"I am not..." he starts off sternly, his brows furrowed deeply trying to fight off what he really wanted to say... because his feeling alot too, its not only Devi- and he thinks his lost is ability to hold off- "Fuck Devi... for you even thinking I'm a psychopath? When all you have ever done was think about yourself."
She purses her lips angrily and turns away, but he catches her wrist, stopping her again.
"Stop that!-"
"We need to talk!"
"Apparently we don't!"
"Devi! You called me psychotic? I think we need to talk. Are you just throwing words around at me, now?! You make it sound like I used you! Like I never cared for you-"
"You kissed someone else Paxton!" she snaps, her voice torn. Her breathing quickens... and she's finally giving in to her tears. "You cheated!... and you broke me... and now... I hate you for that." she breaks, the tears streaming down her cheeks... her lips tighten, trying to stop them from trembling, trying to hold back the emotions wanting to consume her, like an uncontrollable tidal wave... and she's trying her best to blink the tears away that blur her vision.
"Apparently," she goes on, clearing her throat and trying to sound alittle more confident again. " It... it seems I may have 'started' something..." her tone strained, and she inhales deeply, trying to catch her breath as her chest heaves in and out. "But you know what you just did?... you just... ended it."
Her last words torn, Paxton can feel it tear through his own heart... his own insides.
But even with her words, or even as his so stunned... He doesnt think he can handle how this has turned or how the words are eating him inside...
"No, no, no- Sorry, what?-" he grunts, clenching his jaw, tightening down on his own emotions... they are turbulently and causing havoc inside him...
...his barely holding himself together...
He wants to understand why he still wants to cling on, still wanted to hang on to something... because maybe there were still something left between them that could be maybe be salvaged?
...but the feeling also contridicted his other feelings... that wanted to repell her... and let her go...
And that is his struggle that- his heart has been struggling to beat for her the same since he had learned that she had kissed Ben back...
...that was not easy for Paxton...
...he had said some hurtful things to Devi, all formed from his bottled up anger he had tried to contain... but none of which he had meant... she was special to him... infact, more special then any other girl his ever been with... and far more complex... but he had always struggled to understand Devi... and he would always give up far too quickly...
"Paxton... we have nothing left." Devi rasps, turning away. "So please... just leave me alone-"
"Devi. This makes us even."
"No it doesn't!" She growls, turning back to him, infuriated by his reply.
And when Paxton doesn't know how to talk to her it almost seemed easier to have a go at her instead...
"Well shit, Devi! Maybe it will make you think before you go using me again." He spits bitterly, dropping his hands to his waist, tensely. "You did the same to me, Devi... your not the only one hurt."
Her eyes dim to a seriousness his never seen before, and they swim and gleamer at him, blurred by what had been left of her tears...
"That's why we can't be together." she watches him, her eyes weathered by her tears. "Because for some reason... we arent meant to be. If I kissed Ben, I already lost you... and when you kissed Aneesa... you lost me." She shrugs her shoulders, wiping a tear away. "And that's it." Her tone so soft and broken with tears.
He looks away, not bareing to see the look in her eyes.
When he lifts his gaze up, his heart racing... worried to see what held in them would be... hate... regret... disappointment... not what he wanted to see...
... but they held something different... soft... and calm, like the tides had soothed... like the moon had come out and shown out its light after a turbulant night as a reminder that it was there... that any rough can settle... she had come to some sort of realisation... or peace.
He exhales out, knowing he had lost her.
"So this is it?"
She doesnt need to say anything, but the faint smile she gives him says all he needed to know.
"I just want you to know... I didn't kiss Aneesa because I wanted to hurt you. And I know I did, but..." he clears his throat, feeling as it tightens. "It wasn't my intention."
She purses her lips at him, a look that said she didnt care... but her eyes flicker over him, rarely seeing the sentimental Paxton she sees right now... the one she wished she'd seen more of... the look he held right now, and it suprises her... and she knew he cared... that he were being honest.
He runs a hand through his hair.
"Sorry Devi."
She shrugs her shoulders faintly, and gives him a weak smile.
Then she turns and then begins to walk home.

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Hi Guys! Sorry if I have made this wayyy too dramatic! Lol I hope I got this right... I did some editing to it and don't know if I made it worse or better... but I wanted to get the story out a little faster too! Next part was supposed to be Ben and Devi but I started writing a Devi and Zoey part because I wanted to try to mend something between these two lol please let me know if there is anything I can fix♡ anyways, thank you guys always!! ♡♡♡♡ Xxxx all!♡♡♡♡