Teacups & Tentacles | ONC 2022

6. Something Dangerous

If Godwin was hoping no one would remember the weekend outing to the Zoo having been mentioned -- the ale and other potent spirits doing what they do best -- he was in for the first of two surprises.

At ten minutes to ten, a knot of eight Masterminds (nine including Bobby) was noisily assembled and blocking the pavement in front of the main entrance to London Zoo.

That was the first surprise.

The second: they were all dressed as pirates.

"What's all this now?" said Godwin, crossing his arms and lowering his head to stare into the round of grinning faces. "I don't want to hear that the cast of the musical Bluebeard is sitting naked somewhere laced up like a Christmas goose, do I?"

"Nah," said Millie, poking the stuffed parrot on her shoulder. "Just wanted to get into the spirit, didn't we? Fancy dress, and all. Make it more of a real treat."

"And what a fine treat you all look, too," said Alistair, in his most complimentary voice. Godwin threw him a sharp look that, among other things, said don't encourage them, you have no idea what they can get themselves into.

"Arrrrg, let's get a look-see at thar there seaweed-soaked devil!" wheezed Peter, brandishing a fake hand-hook towards the entrance, almost slashing it through Millie's hair bun in the process.

"I've brought the rum, let's board this ship and plunder!" rumbled Roddy, clapping down his eyepatch, hitching up his rough-cut britches and charging towards the gate.

After a bit of a problem with a ticket selling automaton who refused to issue Stephen a ticket for his invisible dog --"but he's on a lead!" Stephen protested -- the motley group made it successfully into the queue for the Special Exhibit Pavilion without loss of life or limb. Theirs or anyone else's. 

"Look Mummy! Pirates!" cried a little boy, removing a wet finger from his mouth and pointing. Half the queue turned and stared, some bemused, others shaking their heads and turning back around or returning their attention to a casually held newspaper.

The Masterminds didn't seem to notice.

"What are you grinning about?" Godwin asked, a pained expression etched into his face after Peter suggested they sing sea shanties and launched into a wobbly version of Blow the Man Down, which since had reached full chorus strength, some of the children in the queue having joined in.

"This is the most fun we've had out in ages and we haven't even seen the monster yet." Alistair replied over the cacophony. "Your society friends are utterly charming."

"You wouldn't think that if you saw them armed with farming equipment and detonators. Don't forget, the Masterminds are not exactly known for their appreciation of, nor adherence to, societal conventions."

"Oh Goddy, do lighten up. We've got nice weather and I'm having a splendid time. We should do this more often."

"Scythes and dynamite. That's all I'm saying."

The interior of the Special Exhibit pavilion was dim, despite the efforts of the hissing gas lamps. The pirates blinked and squinted in the contrast from the bright sunshine outside. Dankness permeated the air and the hushed voices of the other visitors echoed off the walls, creating a soft murmur of interest and excitement.

The Masterminds quieted. Some of them holding a finger to their lips to highlight the idea and advertise it to others. 

"Just like at Camden Baths," whispered Stephen, gathering up Bobby for the short climb up a flight of wooden steps to the viewing platform. "I feel I've forgotten my bathing costume."

"Maybe we'll get to see it taking its constitutional laps," answered Millie also in a whisper. She shivered in gleeful in anticipation.

Once on the platform, Godwin gazed down into the flat, yellowish-green water and felt the urge to take a step back as his eyes discerned the mammoth bulk of the sea creature spread out across the bottom of the giant pool from the walls that surrounded it. The tip of one tentacle, mud-coloured and glistening, lay out of the water, curled up against the tiles on the far side.

Alistair gripped his arm tightly. "That is the largest animal I have ever seen," he whispered, awe struck. "How did they even transport it here?"

Godwin shook his head, a feeling of unease creeping over his scalp. He knew the sensation, but it had been years since he'd felt it. 

"What do you think it eats?" mumbled one of the Masterminds.

"No idea, but whatever it is, it's more than any of us could put away in a year of Sundays," came the reply.

Godwin's ears began to ring and the sounds around him faded into a soft cottony mush, shrinking until the world consisted only of himself, the flickering light of the gas lamps and the dark creature below. He felt the edges of himself give way and dissolve into a dancing sphere of waves that rippled out from his body in green and dark orange. 

It was only when Alistair tugged on his sleeve did he snap out of the trance and follow the rest of their friends down from the platform, still a bit disoriented.

At the bottom of the stairs, a sign informed them that, for a penny more, visitors could view the octopus through a glass wall under the water.

Acting on instinct -- and against his better judgement-- Godwin turned and asked, "anyone else keen?"

He was met by a round of pale, violently shaking heads.

"Think I'd piss myself if I got any closer," grumbled Roddy in an odd moment of weakness. "Imagine if you were down there alone with it and it moved."

"Not for all the gold in Siam," Millie croaked, the stuffed parrot on her shoulder nodding in approval. 

"We'll wait for you outside," Alistair said, a questioning spark in his eyes that indicated an interrogation was in the offing later. "Anyone for tea and crumpets?"

The suggestion met with unanimous support and the Masterminds trundled out into the safe sunny world leaving Godwin behind to face the octopus on his own. 

The underwater room was not as dark as the viewing platform, but it was mostly empty. Clearly, only the most hardened wanted a better look. Godwin stood a few feet back from the glass, unconsciously assuming his stage posture, bowing his head and clasping his hands behind his back, before turning his full attention onto the creature. For a good five minutes, Godwin let his eyes roam over the octopus' contours and shadows, taking in every detail and storing it in his memory.

Down here, what had looked from above like a nest of giant snakes emitting from a central column became a well-proportioned skirt of muscle of the most delicate pinks and browns, flecked with black and and lined with a range of transparent suckers. It was the head, however, with its lack of a mouth and the dead black eyes that was the most astounding, and horrifying, feature.

When he left and went to join the others for tea, it was with the unshakable knowledge that he'd just seen something remarkably and truly extraordinary.

And dangerous beyond words.